Quote

The scrub sink...is the place where doctors wash their hands after they operate so that they won't get flecks of your vital organs on their Lexus upholstery.

Dave Barry

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Dave Barry
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: July 3
Actor
Author
Columnist
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Satirist
Writer
Armonk (New York)
David McAlister Barry
David Barry
Sink
Organs
Vital
Lexus
Medicine
Flecks
Doctors
Upholstery
Place
Scrub
Hands
Wash
Operate

More quotes by Dave Barry

Image
I tried sniffing Coke once, but the ice cubes got stuck in my nose.
Dave Barry
Image
Trails need to be reconstructed. Please avoid building trails that go uphill.
Dave Barry
Image
Any parent that relies on any law to help him parent is an idiot.
Dave Barry
Image
If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?
Dave Barry
Image
Megahertz: This is really, really big hertz.
Dave Barry
Image
I'm one of those people who tells my wife, No coaching from the sidelines.
Dave Barry
Image
I now realize that the small hills you see on ski slopes are formed around the bodies of forty-seven-year-olds who tried to learn snowboarding.
Dave Barry
Image
For 41 years I have gone with a very natural hair look that was originally popularized by coconuts.
Dave Barry
Image
All these people helped make this book possible. But let me make one thing clear: If there are any errors or omissions in this book, these people are not responsible. In the end, there is only one person responsible for what I write, and that person, of course, is: Donald Trump.
Dave Barry
Image
The most powerful force in the universe is gossip.
Dave Barry
Image
You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.
Dave Barry
Image
2. The instant the doors open, you want to push forward as hard as possible, in an effort to get onto the train without letting anybody off. This is very important. If anybody does get off, it is legal to tackle him and drag him back on.
Dave Barry
Image
DNA is an abbreviation for deoxyribonucleicantidisestablishmentarianism, a complex string of syllables.
Dave Barry
Image
Never trust anything you read in a travel article.
Dave Barry
Image
A sense of humor is a measurement of the extent to which we realize that we are trapped in a world almost totally devoid of reason. Laughter is how we express the anxiety we feel at this knowledge.
Dave Barry
Image
I don't think the press has done a very good job dealing with government spending.The Defense Department with the $9,500 toilet seat, that's not the problem anymore. Medicare and Medicaid and Social Security are the problem. That's us. That's our generation. There the press never says a word.
Dave Barry
Image
The objective is not so much to walk your dog, as it is to empty him.
Dave Barry
Image
For Dad, the perfect Father's Day would be one in which he didn't even realize that it was Father's Day, because nobody was making him appreciate gifts he didn't want, or read greeting cards filled with lame Father's Day poetry.
Dave Barry
Image
Think, for a moment, of the countless happy childhood hours you spent with this amazing device: Drawing perfect horizontals, drawing perfect verticals, drawing really spastic diagonals, trying to scrape away the silver powder from the window so you could look inside.
Dave Barry
Image
Line printer paper is strongest at the perforations.
Dave Barry