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There is a very fine line between hobby and mental illness.
Dave Barry
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Dave Barry
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: July 3
Actor
Author
Columnist
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Satirist
Writer
Armonk (New York)
David McAlister Barry
David Barry
Lines
Hobby
Hobbies
Illness
Mental
Line
Fine
More quotes by Dave Barry
I, alone, could never have produced this book. I say this mainly in case there are lawsuits.
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I tried sniffing Coke once, but the ice cubes got stuck in my nose.
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As the saying goes: If you're not part of the solution, you're a newspaper columnist.
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Do not spit gum in the drinking fountains.
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But if I hadn't shoved you off the boat back there,you'd be lost at sea now,wouldn't you? We'd all be lost! So thanks to me you're all standing on land. (Pirates, its a good thing they're idiots)
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Miami, you can never run out of material. As long as you have Miami around you, you will never, never stop being amused.
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Your job is to give people a reason to keep reading.
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Earnest is our dog. She senses instantly that something is wrong, and guided by that timeless and unerring nurturing instinct that all female dogs have, she tries to lick my ears off.
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We believe that electricity exists, because the electric company keeps sending us bills for it, but we cannot figure out how it travels inside wires.
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We journalists... are also extremely impressed with scientists, and we will, frankly, print just about any wacky thing they tell us, especially if it involves outer space.
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The story of the eighties will be the story of the Reagan administration and the many men and women who served in it, some of whom are already out on parole.
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If everybody were a guy, the human race could easily get by on less than one twentieth the current number of shoes.
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I'm not the only taxpayer who has no idea what he's sending to the IRS. This year, only 28 percent of all Americans will prepare their own tax returns, according to a voice in my head that invents accurate-sounding statistics.
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Can we move this conversation along, I'm getting frightfully tired of 'hoa'.
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Newspaper readership is declining like crazy. In fact, there's a good chance that nobody is reading my column.
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Note that both of these papers [the New York Post and the New York Daily News] are big sellers in a city whose residents like to go around saying they'd never live anyplace else on account of they'd miss the opera.
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I actually kind of like Janet Reno. She seems like a nice enough lady. But when you're basically going through the entire phone book trying to find women lawyers who don't have maids to pick the attorney general of the United States, how well can you do?
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Eventually everyone has to die, except Elvis.
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Yet another spunky li'l NASA robot lands and begins transmitting back photographs of rocks that appear virtually identical to the rock photos beamed back by all the other spunky li'l NASA robots, thus confirming suspicions that the universe has a LOT of rocks in it.
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Talking about golf is always boring. Playing golf can be interesting, but not the part where you try to hit the little ball only the part where you drive the cart.
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