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You have to be careful on the deck, because of the hatches, which are holes placed around a sailboat at random to increase the insurance rates.
Dave Barry
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Dave Barry
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: July 3
Actor
Author
Columnist
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Satirist
Writer
Armonk (New York)
David McAlister Barry
David Barry
Boat
Sailboat
Careful
Deck
Rate
Rates
Increase
Sailing
Funny
Random
Around
Insurance
Placed
Holes
Hatches
More quotes by Dave Barry
All the shopping malls and restaurants and airports are riddled with low-fidelity loudspeakers, which apparently have developed the ability to reproduce by themselves these are all connected to a special programming service called Music That Nobody Really Likes, and you cannot get away from it.
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The word aerobics comes from two Greek words: aero, meaning “ability to,” and bics, meaning “withstand tremendous boredom.
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If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there are men on base.
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When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that individual is crazy.
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In Los Angeles, the jury in the Reginald Denny Beating trial, after much thinking, concludes, that Person A is not necessarily trying to kill Person B just because Person A happens to very deliberately bash Person B's skull in with a brick. The verdict is applauded by scientists at the Tobacco Institute.
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I have been a gigantic Rolling Stones fan since approximately the Spanish-American War.
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I argue very well. Just ask any of my remaining friends.
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And that's the wonderful thing about family travel: it provides you with experiences that will remain locked forever in the scar tissue of your mind.
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Guys are simple... women are not simple and they always assume that men must be just as complicated as they are, only way more mysterious. The whole point is guys are not thinking much. They are just what they appear to be. Tragically.
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Your modern teenager is not about to listen to advice from an old person, defined as a person who remembers when there was no Velcro.
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As a professional journalist, I have always been fascinated by people who appear to have even more spare time than I do.
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I believe that we parents must encourage our children to become educated, so they can get into a good college that we cannot afford.
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Magnetism, as you recall from physics class, is a powerful force that causes certain items to be attracted to refrigerators.
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RAM: This gives guys a way of deciding whose computer has the biggest, studliest memory. That's important, because the more memory a computer has, the faster it can produce error messages.
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Why else do we have Miami, if not to give me material?
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I had no shoes and I pitied myself. Then I met a man who had no feet, so I took his shoes.
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Albert Einstein, who discovered that a tiny amount of mass is equal to a huge amount of energy, which explains why, as Einstein himself so eloquently put it in a famous 1939 speech to the Physics Department at Princeton, 'You have to exercise for a week to work off the thigh fat from a single Snickers.'
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Rembrandt's first name was Beauregard, which is why he never used it.
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What was life like in the colonies? Probably the best word to describe it would be colonial.
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What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death.
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