Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
It takes a minimum of six people, working in close harmony, to successfully flush a nautical toilet. That's why those old ships carried such large crews.
Dave Barry
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Dave Barry
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: July 3
Actor
Author
Columnist
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Satirist
Writer
Armonk (New York)
David McAlister Barry
David Barry
Large
Sailing
Close
Crew
Takes
Minimum
Crews
Working
Carried
Flush
Funny
Ships
Nautical
People
Boat
Toilet
Six
Toilets
Harmony
Successfully
More quotes by Dave Barry
Chair lifts need to be in some places so that we can get to wonderful views without having to hike to them.
Dave Barry
Gravity is a contributing factor in nearly 73 percent of all accidents involving falling objects.
Dave Barry
We're deep into the holiday gift-giving season, as you can tell from the fact that everywhere you look, you see jolly old St. Nick urging you to purchase things, to the point where you want to slug him right in his bowl full of jelly.
Dave Barry
The IRS wants you to use this form because it gets to keep most of your money. So unless you have pond silt for brains, you want the long form.
Dave Barry
I would say that the single most important conclusion I reached, after traveling through Japan, as well as countless hours reading, studying, and analyzing this fascinating culture, is that you should always tighten the cap on the shampoo bottle before you put it in your suitcase.
Dave Barry
Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.
Dave Barry
When the boomers started to have kids reach adolescence, there was suddenly this feeling that they needed to protect their kids from all the same things they did when they were kids. Which I guess is a natural tendency, but it makes for a less fun society.
Dave Barry
I'm not sure you can count as history, was Keith Richards's Life, which he so modestly titled it. I did find it a fascinating book. Keith's a pretty honest fellow.
Dave Barry
For people who like peace and quiet: a phoneless cord.
Dave Barry
If, when you talk to people, they keep backing away from you, it's because you're TOO CLOSE, alright? SO DON'T KEEP ADVANCING ON THEM LIKE A HUMAN GLACIER.
Dave Barry
Of course God enjoys a good prank as much as the next infallible deity.
Dave Barry
Your guess is as good as mine. Better probably, because you haven't had four beers.
Dave Barry
I had arrived at the airport one hour early so that, in accordance with airline procedures, I could stand around.
Dave Barry
2. The instant the doors open, you want to push forward as hard as possible, in an effort to get onto the train without letting anybody off. This is very important. If anybody does get off, it is legal to tackle him and drag him back on.
Dave Barry
It was not easy victory in the America Cup. Our boys spent years experimenting with different designs for their boat before they came up with the innovative idea of having a submerged nuclear submarine tow it.
Dave Barry
The problem with winter sports is that - follow me closely here - they generally take place in winter.
Dave Barry
On behalf of the newspaper industry I wish to announce some changes we're making to serve you better. When I say 'serve you better,'' I mean 'increase our profits.' We newspapers are very big on profits these days. We're a business, just like any other business, except that we employ English majors.
Dave Barry
Because of some defect in my motor skill, I can never COMPLETELY wrap [gifts]....If I had been an ancient Egyptian in the field of mummies, the lower half of the Pharaoh's body would be covered only by scotch tape.
Dave Barry
I guess libertarianism is always considered so weird and fringe that people assume that you're in the closet if you don't go around talking about it.
Dave Barry
Dogs make good pets because they are very loyal
Dave Barry
