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Today's scientific question is: What in the world is electricity? And where does it go after it leaves the toaster?

Dave Barry

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Dave Barry
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: July 3
Actor
Author
Columnist
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Satirist
Writer
Armonk (New York)
David McAlister Barry
David Barry
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Doe
Today
World
Toaster
Toasters
Electricity
Scientific

More quotes by Dave Barry

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All these people helped make this book possible. But let me make one thing clear: If there are any errors or omissions in this book, these people are not responsible. In the end, there is only one person responsible for what I write, and that person, of course, is: Donald Trump.
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I'm one of those people who tells my wife, No coaching from the sidelines.
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More and more products are coming out in fiercely protective packaging designed to prevent consumers from consuming them. These days you have to open almost every consumer item by gnawing on the packaging.
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What I want to know is: Why is it important to have visible stomach muscles? I grew up in an era (the Paleolithic) when people kept their stomach muscles discreetly out of sight.
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I actually kind of like Janet Reno. She seems like a nice enough lady. But when you're basically going through the entire phone book trying to find women lawyers who don't have maids to pick the attorney general of the United States, how well can you do?
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I argue very well. Just ask any of my remaining friends.
Dave Barry
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Dinner Special - Turkey $2.35 Chicken or Beef $2.25 Children $2.00
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I was reading this James Bond book, and right away I realized that, like most books, it had too many words.
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European toilet paper is made from the same material that Americans use for roofing, which is why Europeans tend to remain standing throughout soccer matches.
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I am a superior form of human and I have absolutely no quirks or irrational impulses of any kind.
Dave Barry
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People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
Dave Barry
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Any parent that relies on any law to help him parent is an idiot.
Dave Barry
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The porpoises said hello to Molly. She told them all her teeth were green.
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Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business.
Dave Barry
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I believe that we parents must encourage our children to become educated, so they can get into a good college that we cannot afford.
Dave Barry
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A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light.
Dave Barry
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Avoid the traffic by using one of the park's shuttle buses and view the elk rut with a park ranger.
Dave Barry
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Earnest is our dog. She senses instantly that something is wrong, and guided by that timeless and unerring nurturing instinct that all female dogs have, she tries to lick my ears off.
Dave Barry
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Passing the SAT: My personal theory is that it has to do with how much money you send them in the mail. I think the amounts they tell you to send are actually just suggested minimum donations - if you get my drift.
Dave Barry
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I hate rap music, which to me sounds like a bunch of angry men shouting, possibly because the person who was supposed to provide them with a melody never showed up.
Dave Barry