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I have come up with a sure-fire concept for a hit television show, which would be called `A Live Celebrity Gets Eaten by a Shark'.
Dave Barry
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Dave Barry
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: July 3
Actor
Author
Columnist
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Satirist
Writer
Armonk (New York)
David McAlister Barry
David Barry
Fire
Shark
Called
Sharks
Sure
Eaten
Show
Celebrity
Shows
Concept
Live
Concepts
Come
Gets
Would
Television
More quotes by Dave Barry
Experts agree that the best type of computer for your individual needs is one that comes on the market about two days after you actually purchase some other computer.
Dave Barry
Europeans, like some Americans, drive on the right side of the road, except in England, where they drive on both sides of the road Italy, where they drive on the sidewalk and France, where if necessary they will follow you right into the hotel lobby.
Dave Barry
The ultimate camping trip was the Lewis and Clark expedition.
Dave Barry
My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far today, I have finished 2 bags of M&M's and a chocolate cake. I feel better already.
Dave Barry
There is nothing as relaxing as being out on the open sea, listening to the waves and the wind and the sails and voices downstairs yelling HOW DO YOU FLUSH THESE TOILETS?
Dave Barry
What I like best about the telephone is that it keeps you in touch with people, particularly people who want to sell you magazine subscriptions in the middle of the night.
Dave Barry
If you look at photos of the Gettysburg Address there's a guy off to the right who I think is Keith Richards.
Dave Barry
Ask not what your country can do for you. Ask whether your country has been inhaling paint-thinner fumes.
Dave Barry
The scrub sink...is the place where doctors wash their hands after they operate so that they won't get flecks of your vital organs on their Lexus upholstery.
Dave Barry
I now realize that the small hills you see on ski slopes are formed around the bodies of forty-seven-year-olds who tried to learn snowboarding.
Dave Barry
The badness of a movie is directly proportional to the number of helicopters in it.
Dave Barry
Headbangers' are people who like heavy-metal music, which is performed by skinny men with huge hair who stomp around the stage, striking their instruments and shrieking angrily, apparently because somebody has stolen all their shirts.
Dave Barry
As a professional journalist, I am always looking for new ways to get paid for being motionless.
Dave Barry
Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business.
Dave Barry
Within less than an hour, Chuck and I easily located what could well be the correct platform, where we pass the time by perspiring freely until the train storms in, colorfully decorated, as is the tradition in New York, with the spray-painted initials of all the people it has run over.
Dave Barry
The most powerful force in the universe is gossip.
Dave Barry
The major parties could conduct live human sacrifices on their podiums during prime time, and I doubt that anybody would notice.
Dave Barry
I had arrived at the airport one hour early so that, in accordance with airline procedures, I could stand around.
Dave Barry
How can you be afraid of women?” “Those ain’t normal women.
Dave Barry
Meetings are places where dead ideas rise from their graves and eat the brains of the living.
Dave Barry