Quote

Sometimes you panic and find yourself emitting remarks so profoundly inane that you would be embarrassed to say them to your dog. Your dog would look at you and think to itself, 'I may lick myself in public, but I'd never say anything as stupid as that.'

Dave Barry

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Dave Barry
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: July 3
Actor
Author
Columnist
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Satirist
Writer
Armonk (New York)
David McAlister Barry
David Barry
Thinking
May
Remarks
Find
Profoundly
Look
Embarrassed
Looks
Panic
Sometimes
Dog
Never
Stupid
Emitting
Would
Public
Inane
Think
Anything
Lick

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As a professional journalist, I have always been fascinated by people who appear to have even more spare time than I do.
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The easiest way to make a fruitcake is to buy a darkish cake, then pound some old, hard fruit into it with a mallet. Be sure to wear safety glasses.
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A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light.
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The Internet is the most important single development in the history of human communication since the invention of call waiting.
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The major parties could conduct live human sacrifices on their podiums during prime time, and I doubt that anybody would notice.
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Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear.
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Granted, this system is insane, but we must not let sanity stand in the way of airport security.
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There are no bad haircuts in cyberspace.
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