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Love and pregnancy and riding on a camel cannot be hid
Dave Barry
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Dave Barry
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: July 3
Actor
Author
Columnist
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Satirist
Writer
Armonk (New York)
David McAlister Barry
David Barry
Camel
Camels
Pregnancy
Riding
Cannot
Love
More quotes by Dave Barry
People are afraid to own their own homes. People are afraid their own government will catch them fixing their houses.
Dave Barry
The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion or ethnic background, is that we all believe we are above-average drivers.
Dave Barry
Alan Zweibel is the funniest writer in the world. He might be even funnier when he's naked, but I'm afraid to find out.
Dave Barry
Most of the presidential candidates' economic packages involve 'tax breaks,' which is when the government, amid great fanfare, generously decides not to take quite so much of your income. In other words, these candidates are trying to buy your votes with your own money.
Dave Barry
The porpoises said hello to Molly. She told them all her teeth were green.
Dave Barry
He felt a momentary pang of regret that he had not spent more time with his beloved wife. But it passed when he remembered that the reason he’d gone to sea in the first place was that he had never really liked his beloved wife.
Dave Barry
We're deep into the holiday gift-giving season, as you can tell from the fact that everywhere you look, you see jolly old St. Nick urging you to purchase things, to the point where you want to slug him right in his bowl full of jelly.
Dave Barry
People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
Dave Barry
Another foreign-policy triumph for Reagan was his 1984 visit to China, where he met for more than three hours with Mao Zedong before realizing that Mao was dead.
Dave Barry
We'll try to cooperate fully with the IRS, because, as citizens, we feel a strong patriotic duty not to go to jail.
Dave Barry
Here's a man who was twice elected to the most powerful position on Earth despite needing a TelePrompTer to correctly identify what year it was.
Dave Barry
A hundred years ago, it could take you the better part of a year to get from New York to California whereas today, because of equipment problems at O'Hare, you can't get there at all.
Dave Barry
The reason it's called Grape Nuts is that it contains dextrose, which is also sometimes called grape sugar, and also because Grape Nuts is catchier, in terms of marketing, than A Cross Between Gerbil Food and Gravel, which is what it tastes like.
Dave Barry
If women were in charge of all the world's nations, there would be sincerely believe this - no military conflicts, and when there WAS a military conflict, everybody involved would feel just awful and there would soon be a high-level exchange of notes written on greeting cards with flowers on the front, followed by a Peace Luncheon
Dave Barry
The Internet is the most important single development in the history of human communication since the invention of call waiting.
Dave Barry
The Internet is a giant international network of intelligent, informed computer enthusiasts, by which I mean, people without lives. We don't care. We have each other.
Dave Barry
I have never had a point in my life to make. I'm just trying to entertain the reader.
Dave Barry
But if I hadn't shoved you off the boat back there,you'd be lost at sea now,wouldn't you? We'd all be lost! So thanks to me you're all standing on land. (Pirates, its a good thing they're idiots)
Dave Barry
There's nothing wrong with enjoying looking at the surface of the ocean itself, except that when you finally see what goes on underwater,you realize that you've been missing the whole point of the ocean. Staying on the surface all the time is like going to the circus and staring at the outside of the tent.
Dave Barry
I got a lot of mail from organizations concerned with bike safety. Then I got a couple from people who wanted my support for mandatory helmet laws. I can't support that. If you pass a law like that you'll do more harm than good, because you'll make people think they've done something about the problem when they haven't.
Dave Barry
