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Database: the information you lose when your memory crashes.

Dave Barry

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Dave Barry
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: July 3
Actor
Author
Columnist
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Satirist
Writer
Armonk (New York)
David McAlister Barry
David Barry
Information
Crashes
Crash
Memory
Computer
Lose
Memories
Loses
Database
Technology
Databases

More quotes by Dave Barry

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Actually, there are people from all ove - not just Latin America, certainly not just Cuba, but all over Europe, all over the United States. I like that. I like knowing a lot of different types of people. And I can afford to live in a relatively safe part of Miami.
Dave Barry
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The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion or ethnic background, is that we all believe we are above-average drivers.
Dave Barry
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I was reading this James Bond book, and right away I realized that, like most books, it had too many words.
Dave Barry
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I have been a gigantic Rolling Stones fan since approximately the Spanish-American War.
Dave Barry
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Guys care about sports teams. I'm not talking about simply rooting I'm talking about a relationship that guys develop, a commitment to a sport team that guys take way more seriously than, for example, wedding vows.
Dave Barry
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Lobsters displays all three of the classic biological characteristics of an insect, namely: 1. It has way more legs than necessary. 2. There is no way you would ever pet it. 3. It does not respond to simple commands such as Here, boy!
Dave Barry
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Megahertz: This is really, really big hertz.
Dave Barry
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Babies and Other Hazards of Sex: How to Make a Tiny Person in Only 9 Months, with Tools You Probably Have around the Home.
Dave Barry
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You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
Dave Barry
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Socially prominent people are very fond of disease, because it gives them a chance to have these really elaborate charity functions, and the newspaper headlines say 'EVENING IN PARIS BALL RAISES MONEY TO FIGHT GOUT' instead of 'RICH PEOPLE AMUSE THEMSELVES'.
Dave Barry
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And that's the wonderful thing about family travel: it provides you with experiences that will remain locked forever in the scar tissue of your mind.
Dave Barry
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Miami, you can never run out of material. As long as you have Miami around you, you will never, never stop being amused.
Dave Barry
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The world is full of strange phenomena that cannot be explained by the laws of logic or science. Dennis Rodman is only one example.
Dave Barry
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You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.
Dave Barry
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I do not mean to suggest for a moment that all it takes to be a top executive is a custom-tailored European suit. You also need the correct shirt and tie.
Dave Barry
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Rembrandt's first name was Beauregard, which is why he never used it.
Dave Barry
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There are no bad haircuts in cyberspace.
Dave Barry
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The taxpayers cannot be relied upon to support performing arts such as opera. As a taxpayer, I am forced to admit that I would rather undergo a vasectomy via Weed Whacker than attend an opera.
Dave Barry
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Tokyo is huge. Something like 15 million people live there, and my estimate is that at any given moment, 14.7 million of them are lost.
Dave Barry
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Print neatly. That's the kind of advice that the IRS considers a dynamite tax tip. If you ask them a real tax question, such as how you can cheat, they're useless.
Dave Barry