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There are a number of people without whom I could not have written this book, but I hope you don't hold that against them. They are all fine people, and they had no idea how it would turn out.

Dave Barry

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Dave Barry
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: July 3
Actor
Author
Columnist
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Satirist
Writer
Armonk (New York)
David McAlister Barry
David Barry
Idea
Fine
Ideas
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Book
Turn
Without
Written
Would
Reading
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Hope
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More quotes by Dave Barry

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...Hell, which as every frequent traveler knows, is in Concourse D of O'Hare Airport.
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Bill Gates is a very rich man today... and do you want to know why? The answer is one word: versions.
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People are afraid to own their own homes. People are afraid their own government will catch them fixing their houses.
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The first animals to be successfully domesticated were dogs, which were a big help because they would bark all night and fetch thrown sticks, thereby freeing humans from having to perform these tedious yet vital tasks.
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Long, long ago, before eruptions were invented, the molten lava had to be carried down the mountainside, bucket by bucket, and poured over the sleeping villagers. This took time.
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The Internet: transforming society and shaping the future through chat.
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How can you be afraid of women?” “Those ain’t normal women.
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Meetings are places where dead ideas rise from their graves and eat the brains of the living.
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Seriously? You won’t help me?” “Help yourself get killed? No, I won’t.
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Eventually everyone has to die, except Elvis.
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Nobody understands how hard it is, being a captain.
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No man had ever knocked little Richard down. But of course Ammm was not a man.
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Once again we find ourselves enmeshed in the Holiday Season, that very special time of year when we join with our loved ones in sharing centuries-old traditions such as trying to find a parking space at the mall.
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What, exactly, is the internet? Basically it is a global network exchanging digitized data in such a way that any computer, anywhere, that is equipped with a device called a 'modem', can make a noise like a duck choking on a kazoo
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Another foreign-policy triumph for Reagan was his 1984 visit to China, where he met for more than three hours with Mao Zedong before realizing that Mao was dead.
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I like golf because you can be really terrible at it, and still not look much dorkier than anybody else.
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A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light.
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Scientists now believe that the primary biological function of breasts is to make males stupid.
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...Terry Jackson, who is the Miami Herald's automotive writer and TV critic. That's correct: This man gets paid to drive new cars AND watch television. If he ever dies and goes to heaven, it's going to be a big let down.
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Please try not to be such a wiener-head.
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