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I hate rap music, which to me sounds like a bunch of angry men shouting, possibly because the person who was supposed to provide them with a melody never showed up.
Dave Barry
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Dave Barry
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: July 3
Actor
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Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Satirist
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Armonk (New York)
David McAlister Barry
David Barry
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Rap
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More quotes by Dave Barry
People are afraid to own their own homes. People are afraid their own government will catch them fixing their houses.
Dave Barry
Nobody understands how hard it is, being a captain.
Dave Barry
I never stop running. I'm not one of the weenies who drop out just because the electoral college votes. I'm still in the race. I'm an extremely corrupt candidate and I stress that in case anybody in our reading audience is interested in sending me money.
Dave Barry
It's a real smug self-righteous punk kid saying nobody has the right to tell him what to do and how dare you put a sign up saying that I can't go on your property?
Dave Barry
When the boomers started to have kids reach adolescence, there was suddenly this feeling that they needed to protect their kids from all the same things they did when they were kids. Which I guess is a natural tendency, but it makes for a less fun society.
Dave Barry
The problem with winter sports is that - follow me closely here - they generally take place in winter.
Dave Barry
I become faint and nauseous during even very minor medical procedures, such as making an appointment by phone.
Dave Barry
You have to be careful on the deck, because of the hatches, which are holes placed around a sailboat at random to increase the insurance rates.
Dave Barry
Magnetism, as you recall from physics class, is a powerful force that causes certain items to be attracted to refrigerators.
Dave Barry
More and more products are coming out in fiercely protective packaging designed to prevent consumers from consuming them. These days you have to open almost every consumer item by gnawing on the packaging.
Dave Barry
I have never had a point in my life to make. I'm just trying to entertain the reader.
Dave Barry
A small deer came into my camp and stole my bag of pickles. Is there a way I can get reimbursed? Please call.
Dave Barry
What I need is a search engine that, no matter what I type in, comes back with GO BACK TO WORK.
Dave Barry
If you answered, ''Spin the Bottle,'' then I frankly do not want to know any more about your childhood.
Dave Barry
A sense of humor is a measurement of the extent to which we realize that we are trapped in a world almost totally devoid of reason. Laughter is how we express the anxiety we feel at this knowledge.
Dave Barry
Any parent that relies on any law to help him parent is an idiot.
Dave Barry
A perfect parent is a person with excellent child-rearing theories and no actual children.
Dave Barry
The ultimate camping trip was the Lewis and Clark expedition.
Dave Barry
Your guess is as good as mine. Better probably, because you haven't had four beers.
Dave Barry
And to you taxpayers out there, let me say this: Make sure you file your tax return on time! And remember that, even though income taxes can be a 'pain in the neck,' the folks at the IRS are regular people just like you, except that they can destroy your life
Dave Barry