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You can, legally, possibly hit and kill a fellow golfer with a ball, and there will not be a lot of trouble because the other golfers will refuse to stop and be witnesses because they will want to keep playing.

Dave Barry

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Dave Barry
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: July 3
Actor
Author
Columnist
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Satirist
Writer
Armonk (New York)
David McAlister Barry
David Barry
Refuse
Legally
Golf
Golfers
Kill
Possibly
Playing
Fellow
Trouble
Ball
Stop
Witness
Keep
Fellows
Golfer
Balls
Witnesses

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Sailboats are the slowest form of transportation on Earth with the possible exeption of airline flights that go through O'Hare.
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The Spanish government, having run completely out of money, secretly sold the Pyrenees to China, and is now separated from France only by traffic cones.
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What a crock. I could easily overemphasize the importance of good grammar. For example, I could say: Bad grammar is the leading cause of slow, painful death in North America, or Without good grammar, the United States would have lost World War II.
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Magnetism, as you recall from physics class, is a powerful force that causes certain items to be attracted to refrigerators.
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I'm not saying that women don't think about sex also. I'm saying that women are capable, for at least brief periods of time, of not thinking about sex, and that most guys are not.
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If for some reason you are unsure where to go, all you have to do is stand there looking lost, and within seconds a helpful New Yorker will approach to see if you have any spare change.
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Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear.
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You have to be careful on the deck, because of the hatches, which are holes placed around a sailboat at random to increase the insurance rates.
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Love and pregnancy and riding on a camel cannot be hid
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One day soon the Gillette company will announce the development of a razor that, thanks to a computer microchip, can actually travel ahead in time and shave beard hairs that don't even exist yet
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England manufactures most of the world's airline food, as well as all the food you ever ate in your junior-high-school cafeteria.
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I'm a big believer in anesthesia. I think it should be used for every medical procedure, indlucing routine physicals.
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The information encoded in your DNA determines your unique biological characteristics, such as sex, eye color, age and Social Security number.
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The badness of a movie is directly proportional to the number of helicopters in it.
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I'm not sure you can count as history, was Keith Richards's Life, which he so modestly titled it. I did find it a fascinating book. Keith's a pretty honest fellow.
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The most powerful force in the universe is gossip.
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I am a superior form of human and I have absolutely no quirks or irrational impulses of any kind.
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If you answered, ''Spin the Bottle,'' then I frankly do not want to know any more about your childhood.
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Cyrus Pembridge, the Never Land’s captain, was widely regarded as the most incompetent man to comman a ship since the formation of water. “Who in the name of common sense would put to sea on that ship with that man in charge?” wondered Mack. “Well,” Alf answered, “we are.” “True,” Mack said.
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I become faint and nauseous during even very minor medical procedures, such as making an appointment by phone.
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