Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
The science fair has long been a favorite educational tool in the American school system, and for a good reason: Your teachers hate you.
Dave Barry
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Dave Barry
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: July 3
Actor
Author
Columnist
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Satirist
Writer
Armonk (New York)
David McAlister Barry
David Barry
Reason
Fair
Long
Tools
Good
Teacher
System
Tool
American
Teachers
Hate
Educational
Science
Fairs
School
Favorite
More quotes by Dave Barry
The other major kind of computer is the Apple, which I do not recommend, because it is a wuss-o-rama New-Age computer you basically just plug in and use.
Dave Barry
The letters in 'Brace Beemer' can be arranged to spell 'Embrace Beer.'
Dave Barry
It's income tax time again, Americans: time to gather up those receipts, get out those tax forms, sharpen up that pencil, and stab yourself in the aorta
Dave Barry
Most married couples, even though they love each other very much in theory, tend to view each other in practice as large teeming flaw colonies, the result of being that they get on each other's nerves and regularly erupt into vicious emotional shouting matches over such issues as toaster settings.
Dave Barry
What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death.
Dave Barry
I, alone, could never have produced this book. I say this mainly in case there are lawsuits.
Dave Barry
Long, long ago, before eruptions were invented, the molten lava had to be carried down the mountainside, bucket by bucket, and poured over the sleeping villagers. This took time.
Dave Barry
We have been flooded with postal cards from all over the United States and several parallel universes. Just a quick glance though these cards is enough to remind you why this great nation, despite all the talk of decline, still leads the world in tranquilizer consumption.
Dave Barry
What was life like in the colonies? Probably the best word to describe it would be colonial.
Dave Barry
Earnest is our dog. She senses instantly that something is wrong, and guided by that timeless and unerring nurturing instinct that all female dogs have, she tries to lick my ears off.
Dave Barry
Congress is thinking about eliminating a federal program under which scientists broadcast signals to Alien beings. This would be a large mistake. Alien beings have atomic blaster death cannons. You cannot cut off their federal programs as if they were merely poor people.
Dave Barry
All these people helped make this book possible. But let me make one thing clear: If there are any errors or omissions in this book, these people are not responsible. In the end, there is only one person responsible for what I write, and that person, of course, is: Donald Trump.
Dave Barry
The old system of having a baby was much better than the new system, the old system being characterized by the fact that the man didn't have to watch.
Dave Barry
Although it was constructed in 1536, the New York subway system boasts an annual maintenance budget of nearly $8, currently stolen, and it does a remarkable job of getting New Yorkers from Point A to an indeterminate location somewhere in the tunnel leading to point B.
Dave Barry
For people who like peace and quiet: a phoneless cord.
Dave Barry
Do not spit gum in the drinking fountains.
Dave Barry
The problem with winter sports is that - follow me closely here - they generally take place in winter.
Dave Barry
Your modern teenager is not about to listen to advice from an old person, defined as a person who remembers when there was no Velcro.
Dave Barry
Talking about golf is always boring. Playing golf can be interesting, but not the part where you try to hit the little ball only the part where you drive the cart.
Dave Barry
To better understand why you need a personal computer, let's take a look at the pathetic mess you call your life.
Dave Barry