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There was nowhere to sit except the bunk, which was covered with rotting food, and a wooden stool, upon which sat a large fur-covered lump—an old cheese, perhaps, or a dead cat.
Dave Barry
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Dave Barry
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: July 3
Actor
Author
Columnist
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Satirist
Writer
Armonk (New York)
David McAlister Barry
David Barry
Covered
Lump
Cat
Wooden
Large
Rotting
Except
Lumps
Perhaps
Fur
Dead
Cheese
Stool
Food
Sat
Bunk
Upon
Nowhere
Stools
More quotes by Dave Barry
My problem with chess was that all my pieces wanted to end the game as soon as possible.
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What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death.
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Spreadsheet: a kind of program that lets you sit at your desk and ask all kinds of neat what if? questions and generate thousands of numbers instead of actually working.
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It's income tax time again, Americans: time to gather up those receipts, get out those tax forms, sharpen up that pencil, and stab yourself in the aorta
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There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age 11.
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It takes a minimum of six people, working in close harmony, to successfully flush a nautical toilet. That's why those old ships carried such large crews.
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As the saying goes: If you're not part of the solution, you're a newspaper columnist.
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Some archeologists believe that Stonehenge - the mysterious arrangement of enormous elongated stones in England - is actually a crude effort by the Druids to build a computing device.
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The most powerful force in the universe is gossip.
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Real cars were made here in America: Fords, Chevys, Plymouths. These were large chunks of Detroit iron - cars that had the size, weight, and handling characteristics of aircraft carriers but worse fuel efficiency.
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Before going on a diet you should consult your doctor, or at least send him some money.
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AARP is a large and powerful organization, similar to the Mafia but more concerned about dietary fiber.
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Several years ago we had an intern who was none too swift. One day he was typing and turned to a secretary and said, I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do? Just use copier machine paper, she told him. With that, the intern took his last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five blank copies
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Europeans, like some Americans, drive on the right side of the road, except in England, where they drive on both sides of the road Italy, where they drive on the sidewalk and France, where if necessary they will follow you right into the hotel lobby.
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Today, you're 50. Now we can round your age up to 100! Happy 50th birthday!
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As a professional journalist, I have always been fascinated by people who appear to have even more spare time than I do.
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The Sixties are now considered a historical period, just like the Roman Empire.
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Never trust anything you read in a travel article.
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Experts agree that the best type of computer for your individual needs is one that comes on the market about two days after you actually purchase some other computer.
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Ask not what your country can do for you. Ask whether your country has been inhaling paint-thinner fumes.
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