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Panicky despair is an underrated element of writing.

Dave Barry

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Dave Barry
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: July 3
Actor
Author
Columnist
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Satirist
Writer
Armonk (New York)
David McAlister Barry
David Barry
Underrated
Element
Despair
Elements
Writing
Panicky

More quotes by Dave Barry

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The whole thing about whether you smoke marijuana or not is so ridiculous. That and whether you protested the Vietnam War. Give me a break. Especially the marijuana thing.
Dave Barry
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Congress, after years of stalling, finally got around to clearing the way for informal discussions that might lead to possible formal talks that could potentially produce some kind of tenative agreements.
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The leading cause of death among fashion models is falling through street grates.
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It takes a minimum of six people, working in close harmony, to successfully flush a nautical toilet. That's why those old ships carried such large crews.
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I'm not saying that women don't think about sex also. I'm saying that women are capable, for at least brief periods of time, of not thinking about sex, and that most guys are not.
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For a while I got into the South Pacific theater of World War II. I read American Caesar by William Manchester, the biography of General MacArthur. Because of that I ended up reading Tales of the South Pacific by James Michener and then because of that reading his Hawaii. That is what happens.
Dave Barry
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There is nothing as relaxing as being out on the open sea, listening to the waves and the wind and the sails and voices downstairs yelling HOW DO YOU FLUSH THESE TOILETS?
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Your guess is as good as mine. Better probably, because you haven't had four beers.
Dave Barry
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In 1765, Parliament passed the Stamp Act, which, as any American high school student can tell you, was an act that apparently had something to do with stamps.
Dave Barry
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Here in Miami, on weekends, amusement-seekers will come to the marina, set up folding chairs, and spend a highly entertaining day watching boat owners perform comical maneuvers such as forgetting to set their parking brakes and having their cars roll down the ramp and disappear, burbling gaily, below the surface.
Dave Barry
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What a crock. I could easily overemphasize the importance of good grammar. For example, I could say: Bad grammar is the leading cause of slow, painful death in North America, or Without good grammar, the United States would have lost World War II.
Dave Barry
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I'm not sure you can count as history, was Keith Richards's Life, which he so modestly titled it. I did find it a fascinating book. Keith's a pretty honest fellow.
Dave Barry
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In South Florida, we have industrial cockroaches that have to be equipped with loud warning beepers so you can get out of their way when they back up.
Dave Barry
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Software: These programs give instruction to the CPU, which processes billions of tiny facts called bytes, and within a fraction of a second it sends you an error message that requires you to call the customer-support hot line and be placed on hold for approximately the life-span of a caribou.
Dave Barry
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The objective is not so much to walk your dog, as it is to empty him.
Dave Barry
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If Black Stache laughed, you laughed. If he snarled, you snarled. If he breathed in your direction, you ran for cover.
Dave Barry
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I hope I don't sound like an old-fashioned stick-in-the-mud, but when I hear about people making vast fortunes without doing any productive work or contributing anything to society, my reaction is: “How can I get in on that?
Dave Barry
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In fact, just about all the major natural attractions you find in the West- the Grand Canyon, the Badlands, the Goodlands, the Mediocrelands, the Rocky Mountains and Robert Redford- were caused by erosion.
Dave Barry
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If women were in charge of all the world's nations, there would be sincerely believe this - no military conflicts, and when there WAS a military conflict, everybody involved would feel just awful and there would soon be a high-level exchange of notes written on greeting cards with flowers on the front, followed by a Peace Luncheon
Dave Barry
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Several years ago we had an intern who was none too swift. One day he was typing and turned to a secretary and said, I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do? Just use copier machine paper, she told him. With that, the intern took his last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five blank copies
Dave Barry