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Panicky despair is an underrated element of writing.

Dave Barry

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Dave Barry
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: July 3
Actor
Author
Columnist
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Satirist
Writer
Armonk (New York)
David McAlister Barry
David Barry
Underrated
Element
Despair
Elements
Writing
Panicky

More quotes by Dave Barry

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His body rigid with terror as he waited for the savages to something horrible to him—bash his head with clubs, or stab him with spears, or… …or tap him on the shoulder.
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England manufactures most of the world's airline food, as well as all the food you ever ate in your junior-high-school cafeteria.
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One key lesson of history is that virtually anything, including afternoon or evening thundershowers, causes Germany to invade Belgium.
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I have always dressed according to certain Basic Guy Fashion Rules,including: Both of your socks should always be the same color, Or they should at least both be fairly dark.
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For 41 years I have gone with a very natural hair look that was originally popularized by coconuts.
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In those days, most people read newspapers, whereas today, most people do not. What caused this change? One big factor, of course, is that people are a lot stupider than they used to be, although we here in the newspaper industry would never say so in print.
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Reading... a vacation for the mind.
Dave Barry
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You should be prepared for anything during divorce proceedings - even the truth.
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Miami drivers will attempt to pass you inside a car wash.
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We'll try to cooperate fully with the IRS, because, as citizens, we feel a strong patriotic duty not to go to jail.
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The United States tried, by depressing the clutch of diplomacy and downshifting the gearshift lever of rhetoric, to remain neutral, but it became increasingly obvious that the nation was going to get into a war, especially since it was almost 1812.
Dave Barry
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Because of some defect in my motor skill, I can never COMPLETELY wrap [gifts]....If I had been an ancient Egyptian in the field of mummies, the lower half of the Pharaoh's body would be covered only by scotch tape.
Dave Barry
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Aside from velcro, time is the most mysterious substance in the universe. You can't see it or touch it, yet a plumber can charge you upwards of seventy-five dollars per hour for it, without necessarily fixing anything.
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Just get on any major highway, and eventually it will dead-end in a Disney parking area large enough to have its own climate, populated by large nomadic families who have been trying to find their cars since the Carter administration.
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The Spanish government, having run completely out of money, secretly sold the Pyrenees to China, and is now separated from France only by traffic cones.
Dave Barry
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If you look at photos of the Gettysburg Address there's a guy off to the right who I think is Keith Richards.
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Most of the presidential candidates' economic packages involve 'tax breaks,' which is when the government, amid great fanfare, generously decides not to take quite so much of your income. In other words, these candidates are trying to buy your votes with your own money.
Dave Barry
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I have a friend named Doris who argues, on good authority, that the single biggest cause of global warming is menopause.
Dave Barry
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It's income tax time again, Americans: time to gather up those receipts, get out those tax forms, sharpen up that pencil, and stab yourself in the aorta
Dave Barry
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The books all say that barracuda rarely eat people, but very few barracuda can read.
Dave Barry