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Reading... a vacation for the mind.

Dave Barry

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Dave Barry
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: July 3
Actor
Author
Columnist
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Satirist
Writer
Armonk (New York)
David McAlister Barry
David Barry
Vacation
Reading
Book
Mind

More quotes by Dave Barry

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See, when the government spends money, it creates jobs whereas when the money is left in the hands of taxpayers, God only knows what they do with it. Bake it into pies, probably. Anything to avoid creating jobs.
Dave Barry
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You might have mentioned this to me Molly,” said Leonard. “The fact that there are hostile natives on the island.” “I forgot,” said Molly. “You forgot?” said Leonard. “There’s been a lot happening,” said Molly.
Dave Barry
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I become faint and nauseous during even very minor medical procedures, such as making an appointment by phone.
Dave Barry
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During the warm season (August 8 and 9), Maine is a true vacation paradise, offering visitors a chance to jump into crystal-clear mountain lakes and see if they can get back out again before their bodily tissue is frozen as solid as a supermarket turkey.
Dave Barry
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You should never pick up a newspaper when you're feeling good, because every newspaper has a special department, called the Bummer Desk, which is responsible for digging up depressing front-page stories.
Dave Barry
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Meetings are places where dead ideas rise from their graves and eat the brains of the living.
Dave Barry
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If Black Stache laughed, you laughed. If he snarled, you snarled. If he breathed in your direction, you ran for cover.
Dave Barry
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I have come up with a sure-fire concept for a hit television show, which would be called `A Live Celebrity Gets Eaten by a Shark'.
Dave Barry
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I have a friend named Doris who argues, on good authority, that the single biggest cause of global warming is menopause.
Dave Barry
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When Prince Charles speaks, everybody pretends to be fascinated, even though he has never said anything interesting except in that intercepted telephone conversation wherein he expressed the desire to be a feminine hygeine product.
Dave Barry
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Never trust anything you read in a travel article.
Dave Barry
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Before going on a diet you should consult your doctor, or at least send him some money.
Dave Barry
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...Hell, which as every frequent traveler knows, is in Concourse D of O'Hare Airport.
Dave Barry
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Of course God enjoys a good prank as much as the next infallible deity.
Dave Barry
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The Sixties are now considered a historical period, just like the Roman Empire.
Dave Barry
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Because of some defect in my motor skill, I can never COMPLETELY wrap [gifts]....If I had been an ancient Egyptian in the field of mummies, the lower half of the Pharaoh's body would be covered only by scotch tape.
Dave Barry
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Babies and Other Hazards of Sex: How to Make a Tiny Person in Only 9 Months, with Tools You Probably Have around the Home.
Dave Barry
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Scientists now believe that the primary biological function of breasts is to make males stupid.
Dave Barry
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You should definitely visit the Louvre, a world-famous art museum where you can view, at close range, the backs of thousands of other tourists trying to see the Mona Lisa.
Dave Barry
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If you look at photos of the Gettysburg Address there's a guy off to the right who I think is Keith Richards.
Dave Barry