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You should not confuse your career with your life.

Dave Barry

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Dave Barry
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: July 3
Actor
Author
Columnist
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Satirist
Writer
Armonk (New York)
David McAlister Barry
David Barry
Life
Confuse
Farewell
Confusion
Profession
Childhood
Career
Careers
Work

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Line printer paper is strongest at the perforations.
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You should never pick up a newspaper when you're feeling good, because every newspaper has a special department, called the Bummer Desk, which is responsible for digging up depressing front-page stories.
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Snowboarding is an activity that is very popular with people who do not feel that regular skiing is lethal enough.
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Earnest is our dog. She senses instantly that something is wrong, and guided by that timeless and unerring nurturing instinct that all female dogs have, she tries to lick my ears off.
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England manufactures most of the world's airline food, as well as all the food you ever ate in your junior-high-school cafeteria.
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The question is: What can we, as citizens, do to reform our tax system? As you know, under our three-branch system of government, the tax laws are created by: Satan. But he works through the Congress, so that's where we must focus our efforts.
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Your guess is as good as mine. Better probably, because you haven't had four beers.
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The information encoded in your DNA determines your unique biological characteristics, such as sex, eye color, age and Social Security number.
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The Sixties are now considered a historical period, just like the Roman Empire.
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DNA is an abbreviation for deoxyribonucleicantidisestablishmentarianism, a complex string of syllables.
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The real threat to whales is whaling, which has endangered many whale species.
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I called a company and asked to speak to Bob. The person who answered said, Bob is on vacation. Would you like to hold?
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In the Bowling Alley of Tomorrow, there will even be machines that wear rental shoes and throw the ball for you. Your sole function will be to drink beer.
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I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don't even invite me.
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If you look at photos of the Gettysburg Address there's a guy off to the right who I think is Keith Richards.
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Why else do we have Miami, if not to give me material?
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When my generation was your age, we took crazy risks. The wildest thing was - prepare to be shocked - we deliberately ingested carbohydrates!
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The major parties could conduct live human sacrifices on their podiums during prime time, and I doubt that anybody would notice.
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Canada, as you know, is a major important nation boasting a sophisticated, cosmopolitan culture that was tragically destroyed last week by beavers.
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No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.
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