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In 1765, Parliament passed the Stamp Act, which, as any American high school student can tell you, was an act that apparently had something to do with stamps.

Dave Barry

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Dave Barry
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: July 3
Actor
Author
Columnist
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Satirist
Writer
Armonk (New York)
David McAlister Barry
David Barry
American
Stamps
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Parliament
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Apparently
Something
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Students
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Stamp

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The trouble is, you cannot grow just one zucchini. Minutes after you plant a single seed, hundreds of zucchini will barge out of the ground and sprawl around the garden, menacing the other vegetables. At night, you will be able to hear the ground quake as more and more zucchinis erupt.
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All other nations are drinking Ray Charles beer and we are drinking Barry Manilow.
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If Black Stache laughed, you laughed. If he snarled, you snarled. If he breathed in your direction, you ran for cover.
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Hardware: This is the part of the computer that stops working when you spill beer on it.
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I have a friend named Doris who argues, on good authority, that the single biggest cause of global warming is menopause.
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The Sixties are now considered a historical period, just like the Roman Empire.
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Dogsled-riding is a sport that is relaxing as well as fragrant.
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DNA is an abbreviation for deoxyribonucleicantidisestablishmentarianism, a complex string of syllables.
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Newspaper readership is declining like crazy. In fact, there's a good chance that nobody is reading my column.
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The Romans spent the next 200 years using their great engineering skill to construct ruins all over Europe.
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If you have a big enough dictionary, just about everything is a word.
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Can we move this conversation along, I'm getting frightfully tired of 'hoa'.
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Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.
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Stache’s attack was perfectly timed, thanks to his veteran-pirate grasp tactics—and a big piece if luck.
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Japan has a low crime rate, unless you count the fact that approximately every fifteen minutes the entire Cabinet gets indicted for taking bribes.
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I actually kind of like Janet Reno. She seems like a nice enough lady. But when you're basically going through the entire phone book trying to find women lawyers who don't have maids to pick the attorney general of the United States, how well can you do?
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I really try to think cinematically, because that's how people read. They create a theater in their minds.
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Some archeologists believe that Stonehenge - the mysterious arrangement of enormous elongated stones in England - is actually a crude effort by the Druids to build a computing device.
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People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
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