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The nuclear generator of brain sludge is television.

Dave Barry

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Dave Barry
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: July 3
Actor
Author
Columnist
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Satirist
Writer
Armonk (New York)
David McAlister Barry
David Barry
Nuclear
Television
Brain
Literature
Sludge
Generator

More quotes by Dave Barry

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As a professional journalist, I am always looking for new ways to get paid for being motionless.
Dave Barry
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Why else do we have Miami, if not to give me material?
Dave Barry
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If the security personnel do their job properly, they just might cause you to miss your plane, thereby possibly saving your life.
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You should definitely have a travel agent. Why go through all the hassle of dealing with airlines, hotels, and rental-car agencies yourself, only to see the arrangements get all screwed up, when with just a single phone call you can have a trained professional screw them up for you?
Dave Barry
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Cigarette sales would drop to zero overnight if the warning said CIGARETTES CONTAIN FAT.
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There's tremendous pressure, if you're in that [goverment] system, to be involved and be interested and to care about it. There's no room to say, This is stupid.
Dave Barry
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There's nothing wrong with enjoying looking at the surface of the ocean itself, except that when you finally see what goes on underwater,you realize that you've been missing the whole point of the ocean. Staying on the surface all the time is like going to the circus and staring at the outside of the tent.
Dave Barry
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Take out the fortune before you eat the cookie.
Dave Barry
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I love the Olympics, because they enable people from all over the world to come together and--regardless of their political or cultural differences--accuse each other of cheating.
Dave Barry
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When I'm writing columns, it's - all I'm thinking about is jokes, joke, joke, joke, setup, punch line, joke, joke, joke. And I really don't care where it goes.
Dave Barry
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By today's beauty standards, of course, Marilyn Monroe was an oil tanker.
Dave Barry
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No man had ever knocked little Richard down. But of course Ammm was not a man.
Dave Barry
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If you were to open up a baby's head - and I am not for a moment suggesting that you should - you would find nothing but an enormous drool gland.
Dave Barry
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As a professional journalist, I have always been fascinated by people who appear to have even more spare time than I do.
Dave Barry
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They have a lot of trouble with pronunciation, because they can't move their jaw muscles, because of malnutrition caused by wisely refusing to eat English food, much of which was designed and manufactured in medieval times during the reign of King Walter the Mildly Disturbed.
Dave Barry
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The scrub sink...is the place where doctors wash their hands after they operate so that they won't get flecks of your vital organs on their Lexus upholstery.
Dave Barry
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It may be meaningless, but at least it's a gesture.
Dave Barry
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Violence and smut are of course everywhere on the airwaves. You cannot turn on your television without seeing them, although sometimes you have to hunt around.
Dave Barry
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You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
Dave Barry
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Stache’s attack was perfectly timed, thanks to his veteran-pirate grasp tactics—and a big piece if luck.
Dave Barry