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The nuclear generator of brain sludge is television.

Dave Barry

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Dave Barry
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: July 3
Actor
Author
Columnist
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Satirist
Writer
Armonk (New York)
David McAlister Barry
David Barry
Generator
Nuclear
Television
Brain
Literature
Sludge

More quotes by Dave Barry

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One day soon the Gillette company will announce the development of a razor that, thanks to a computer microchip, can actually travel ahead in time and shave beard hairs that don't even exist yet
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Never lick a steak knife.
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I want to gag sometimes when I see who we are recommending that people vote for, and not just as a libertarian.
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As the saying goes: If you're not part of the solution, you're a newspaper columnist.
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Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear.
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If you answered, ''Spin the Bottle,'' then I frankly do not want to know any more about your childhood.
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I suspect that LaGuardia is an elaborate prank, and New York has a real airport nearby that only locals know about.
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It is a well-documented fact that guys will not ask for directions. This is a biological thing. This is why it takes several million sperm cells... to locate a female egg, despite the fact that the egg is, relative to them, the size of Wisconsin.
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I hate rap music, which to me sounds like a bunch of angry men shouting, possibly because the person who was supposed to provide them with a melody never showed up.
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By today's beauty standards, of course, Marilyn Monroe was an oil tanker.
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The Romans spent the next 200 years using their great engineering skill to construct ruins all over Europe.
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It may be meaningless, but at least it's a gesture.
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I, alone, could never have produced this book. I say this mainly in case there are lawsuits.
Dave Barry
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I read Remembrance of Things Past in the original French. I never start the day without reading me some [Marcel] Proust.
Dave Barry
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In the words of a very famous dead person, 'A nation that does not know its history is doomed to do poorly on the Scholastic Aptitude Test.
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The Internet is the most important single development in the history of human communication since the invention of call waiting.
Dave Barry
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A hundred years ago, it could take you the better part of a year to get from New York to California whereas today, because of equipment problems at O'Hare, you can't get there at all.
Dave Barry
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What I like best about the telephone is that it keeps you in touch with people, particularly people who want to sell you magazine subscriptions in the middle of the night.
Dave Barry
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...Terry Jackson, who is the Miami Herald's automotive writer and TV critic. That's correct: This man gets paid to drive new cars AND watch television. If he ever dies and goes to heaven, it's going to be a big let down.
Dave Barry
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Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling.
Dave Barry