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We believe that electricity exists, because the electric company keeps sending us bills for it, but we cannot figure out how it travels inside wires.
Dave Barry
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Dave Barry
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: July 3
Actor
Author
Columnist
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Satirist
Writer
Armonk (New York)
David McAlister Barry
David Barry
Inside
Wire
Company
Electricity
Cannot
Electric
Believe
Bills
Keeps
Exists
Wires
Figure
Travels
Figures
Sending
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European toilet paper is made from the same material that Americans use for roofing, which is why Europeans tend to remain standing throughout soccer matches.
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The leading cause of death among fashion models is falling through street grates.
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Your guess is as good as mine. Better probably, because you haven't had four beers.
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I will vote for the first candidate who promises to use nuclear missiles against LinkedIn.
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For a while I got into the South Pacific theater of World War II. I read American Caesar by William Manchester, the biography of General MacArthur. Because of that I ended up reading Tales of the South Pacific by James Michener and then because of that reading his Hawaii. That is what happens.
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There was nowhere to sit except the bunk, which was covered with rotting food, and a wooden stool, upon which sat a large fur-covered lump—an old cheese, perhaps, or a dead cat.
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A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light.
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The science fair has long been a favorite educational tool in the American school system, and for a good reason: Your teachers hate you.
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The letters in 'Brace Beemer' can be arranged to spell 'Embrace Beer.'
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People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
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You cannot paint the exterior of your house. You have to take the paint chip down to show the paint-chip Nazis.
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Snowboarding is an activity that is very popular with people who do not feel that regular skiing is lethal enough.
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I called a company and asked to speak to Bob. The person who answered said, Bob is on vacation. Would you like to hold?
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The objective is not so much to walk your dog, as it is to empty him.
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If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there are men on base.
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Leonard Aster thanked Fighting Prawn and the Mollusk tribe for their hospitality. “You mean,” said Fighting Prawn, “for not killing you?” “Yes,” said Leonard. “It was very gracious of you.” “Do you,” said Leonard, “I mean, does you tribe, shake hands?” “No,” said Fighting Prawn. “We kiss on the lips.” “Oh,” said Leonard, looking very alarmed.
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