Quote

Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.

Dave Barry

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Dave Barry
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: July 3
Actor
Author
Columnist
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Satirist
Writer
Armonk (New York)
David McAlister Barry
David Barry
Sports
Originally
Open
Clothings
Funny
Clothing
Restricted
Inspirational
Wealthy
Overweight
Today
Although
Protestants
Golf
Owns
Anybody
Dave
Fashion
Hideous

More quotes by Dave Barry

Image
Sign at a Tennessee highway: When this sign is under water, this road is impassable.
Dave Barry
Image
The leading cause of death among fashion models is falling through street grates.
Dave Barry
Image
The Internet browser... is the piece of software that puts a message on your computer screen informing you that the Internet is currently busy and you should try again later.
Dave Barry
Image
Someone was tapping on the window.
Dave Barry
Image
Panicky despair is an underrated element of writing.
Dave Barry
Image
More and more products are coming out in fiercely protective packaging designed to prevent consumers from consuming them. These days you have to open almost every consumer item by gnawing on the packaging.
Dave Barry
Image
If Peter was nine, and a new boy came to St. Norbert’s Home for Wayward Boys who said he was ten, why, then, Peter would declare himself eleven. Also, he could spit the farthest. That made him the undisputed leader.
Dave Barry
Image
Like all writers, my greatest inspiration, my ultimate muse, is a deadline.
Dave Barry
Image
My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far today, I have finished 2 bags of M&M's and a chocolate cake. I feel better already.
Dave Barry
Image
Why can't Americans do their own taxes? Because the federal Tax Code is out of control, that's why. It's gigantic and insanely complex, and it gets worse all the time. Nobody has ever read the whole thing. IRS workers are afraid to go into the same ROOM with it.
Dave Barry
Image
For people who like peace and quiet: a phoneless cord.
Dave Barry
Image
Dogsled-riding is a sport that is relaxing as well as fragrant.
Dave Barry
Image
Scientists now believe that the primary biological function of breasts is to make males stupid.
Dave Barry
Image
You should definitely have a travel agent. Why go through all the hassle of dealing with airlines, hotels, and rental-car agencies yourself, only to see the arrangements get all screwed up, when with just a single phone call you can have a trained professional screw them up for you?
Dave Barry
Image
What may seem depressing or even tragic to one person may seem like an absolute scream to another person, especially if he has had between four and seven beers.
Dave Barry
Image
A critical function that we journalists perform at political conventions is to try to get into parties that we have not been invited to. There are dozens of these parties, sponsored by large corporations with a sincere public-spirited desire to become larger.
Dave Barry
Image
I had arrived at the airport one hour early so that, in accordance with airline procedures, I could stand around.
Dave Barry
Image
The scrub sink...is the place where doctors wash their hands after they operate so that they won't get flecks of your vital organs on their Lexus upholstery.
Dave Barry
Image
Your job is to give people a reason to keep reading.
Dave Barry
Image
In the words of a very famous dead person, 'A nation that does not know its history is doomed to do poorly on the Scholastic Aptitude Test.
Dave Barry