Quote

Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.

Dave Barry

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Dave Barry
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: July 3
Actor
Author
Columnist
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Satirist
Writer
Armonk (New York)
David McAlister Barry
David Barry
Today
Although
Protestants
Golf
Owns
Anybody
Dave
Fashion
Hideous
Sports
Originally
Open
Clothings
Funny
Clothing
Restricted
Inspirational
Wealthy
Overweight

More quotes by Dave Barry

Image
Think, for a moment, of the countless happy childhood hours you spent with this amazing device: Drawing perfect horizontals, drawing perfect verticals, drawing really spastic diagonals, trying to scrape away the silver powder from the window so you could look inside.
Dave Barry
Image
I think Superman should go on the Larry King show and announce that he would come back to life if people in all 50 states wanted him to.
Dave Barry
Image
One day soon the Gillette company will announce the development of a razor that, thanks to a computer microchip, can actually travel ahead in time and shave beard hairs that don't even exist yet
Dave Barry
Image
A critical function that we journalists perform at political conventions is to try to get into parties that we have not been invited to. There are dozens of these parties, sponsored by large corporations with a sincere public-spirited desire to become larger.
Dave Barry
Image
I have a friend named Doris who argues, on good authority, that the single biggest cause of global warming is menopause.
Dave Barry
Image
The IRS spends God knows how much of your tax money on these toll-free information hotlines staffed by IRS employees, whose idea of a dynamite tax tip is that you should print neatly.
Dave Barry
Image
DNA is an abbreviation for deoxyribonucleicantidisestablishmentarianism, a complex string of syllables.
Dave Barry
Image
She wanted to cry, but she did not want Peter to see her cry, and she especially did not want Teacher, with her flowing hair, to see her cry.
Dave Barry
Image
I tried sniffing Coke once, but the ice cubes got stuck in my nose.
Dave Barry
Image
I'm not the only taxpayer who has no idea what he's sending to the IRS. This year, only 28 percent of all Americans will prepare their own tax returns, according to a voice in my head that invents accurate-sounding statistics.
Dave Barry
Image
My son, Rob....said the only time he ever wraps a gift is, quote, if it's such a poor gift that I don't want to be there when the person opens it.
Dave Barry
Image
There are no bad haircuts in cyberspace.
Dave Barry
Image
Love and pregnancy and riding on a camel cannot be hid
Dave Barry
Image
As a professional journalist, I am always looking for new ways to get paid for being motionless.
Dave Barry
Image
For Dad, the perfect Father's Day would be one in which he didn't even realize that it was Father's Day, because nobody was making him appreciate gifts he didn't want, or read greeting cards filled with lame Father's Day poetry.
Dave Barry
Image
The question is, why are politicians so eager to be president? What is it about the job that makes it worth revealing, on national television, that you have the ethical standards of a slime-coated piece of industrial waste?
Dave Barry
Image
Like all writers, my greatest inspiration, my ultimate muse, is a deadline.
Dave Barry
Image
I was a young person once, shortly after the polar ice caps retreated, and I distinctly recall believing that virtually all adults were clueless goobers.
Dave Barry
Image
All other nations are drinking Ray Charles beer and we are drinking Barry Manilow.
Dave Barry
Image
As the saying goes: If you're not part of the solution, you're a newspaper columnist.
Dave Barry