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What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death.

Dave Barry

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Dave Barry
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: July 3
Actor
Author
Columnist
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Satirist
Writer
Armonk (New York)
David McAlister Barry
David Barry
Look
Followed
Book
Aging
Looks
Beer
Silly
Forward
Drink
Immaturity
Interesting
Continued
Death
Maturity

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And what is the Scientific Community doing about these problems, young people? THEY'RE CLONING SHEEP. Great! Just what we need! Sheep that look MORE ALIKE than they already do! Thanks a lot, Scientific Community!
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Can we move this conversation along, I'm getting frightfully tired of 'hoa'.
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We journalists... are also extremely impressed with scientists, and we will, frankly, print just about any wacky thing they tell us, especially if it involves outer space.
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Your friends love you anyway.
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His body rigid with terror as he waited for the savages to something horrible to him—bash his head with clubs, or stab him with spears, or… …or tap him on the shoulder.
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Cigarette sales would drop to zero overnight if the warning said CIGARETTES CONTAIN FAT.
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The objective is not so much to walk your dog, as it is to empty him.
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Babies and Other Hazards of Sex: How to Make a Tiny Person in Only 9 Months, with Tools You Probably Have around the Home.
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Magnetism, as you recall from physics class, is a powerful force that causes certain items to be attracted to refrigerators.
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Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.
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We believe that electricity exists, because the electric company keeps sending us bills for it, but we cannot figure out how it travels inside wires.
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Of course God enjoys a good prank as much as the next infallible deity.
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Line printer paper is strongest at the perforations.
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AARP is a large and powerful organization, similar to the Mafia but more concerned about dietary fiber.
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Your guess is as good as mine. Better probably, because you haven't had four beers.
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I had arrived at the airport one hour early so that, in accordance with airline procedures, I could stand around.
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You can, legally, possibly hit and kill a fellow golfer with a ball, and there will not be a lot of trouble because the other golfers will refuse to stop and be witnesses because they will want to keep playing.
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DNA is an abbreviation for deoxyribonucleicantidisestablishmentarianism, a complex string of syllables.
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UNIVAC: a device, which contained 20,000 vacuum tubes, occupied 1,500 square feet and weighed 40 tons there was also a laptop version weighing 27 tons.
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And to you taxpayers out there, let me say this: Make sure you file your tax return on time! And remember that, even though income taxes can be a 'pain in the neck,' the folks at the IRS are regular people just like you, except that they can destroy your life
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