Quote

Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear.

Dave Barry

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Dave Barry
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: July 3
Actor
Author
Columnist
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Satirist
Writer
Armonk (New York)
David McAlister Barry
David Barry
Right
Ears
Canine
Feel
Dog
Puppy
Feels
Car
Bark
Needs
Case
Tails
Always
Cases
Pet
Schnauzers
Animal
Strongly
Spaniels
Nothing
Dogs
Poodles
Need
Arise
Violently

More quotes by Dave Barry

Image
The simple truth is that balding African-American men look cool when they shave their heads, whereas balding white men look like giant thumbs.
Dave Barry
Image
Recently I began to feel this void in my life, even after meals, and I said to myself, Dave, all you do with your spare time is sit around and drink beer. You need a hobby. So I got a hobby. I make beer.
Dave Barry
Image
I love the Olympics, because they enable people from all over the world to come together and--regardless of their political or cultural differences--accuse each other of cheating.
Dave Barry
Image
It may be meaningless, but at least it's a gesture.
Dave Barry
Image
Violence and smut are of course everywhere on the airwaves. You cannot turn on your television without seeing them, although sometimes you have to hunt around.
Dave Barry
Image
I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don't even invite me.
Dave Barry
Image
Of course God enjoys a good prank as much as the next infallible deity.
Dave Barry
Image
If you asked me to name the three scariest threats facing the human race, I would give the same answer that most people would: nuclear war, global warming and Windows.
Dave Barry
Image
The Republicans have a high Beady-Eyed Self-Righteous Scary Borderline Loon Quotient, as evidenced by Phyllis Schlafly, Pat Robertson, the entire state of Utah, etc.
Dave Barry
Image
Why else do we have Miami, if not to give me material?
Dave Barry
Image
The United States tried, by depressing the clutch of diplomacy and downshifting the gearshift lever of rhetoric, to remain neutral, but it became increasingly obvious that the nation was going to get into a war, especially since it was almost 1812.
Dave Barry
Image
Stache’s attack was perfectly timed, thanks to his veteran-pirate grasp tactics—and a big piece if luck.
Dave Barry
Image
Sir,” James asked, “what are we going to do?” “We’re going to look for water,” said Alf. “And food?” said Tubby Ted. “Water first,” said Alf. “We can go days without food.” “We can what?” Tubby Ted shouted.
Dave Barry
Image
Chair lifts need to be in some places so that we can get to wonderful views without having to hike to them.
Dave Barry
Image
Reading... a vacation for the mind.
Dave Barry
Image
European toilet paper is made from the same material that Americans use for roofing, which is why Europeans tend to remain standing throughout soccer matches.
Dave Barry
Image
I will vote for the first candidate who promises to use nuclear missiles against LinkedIn.
Dave Barry
Image
Can we move this conversation along, I'm getting frightfully tired of 'hoa'.
Dave Barry
Image
The porpoises said hello to Molly. She told them all her teeth were green.
Dave Barry
Image
Flying from the United States to Tokyo takes approximately as long as law school.
Dave Barry