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Gravity is a contributing factor in nearly 73 percent of all accidents involving falling objects.
Dave Barry
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Dave Barry
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: July 3
Actor
Author
Columnist
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Satirist
Writer
Armonk (New York)
David McAlister Barry
David Barry
Objects
Contributing
Percent
Involving
Fall
Factor
Gravity
Factors
Nearly
Accidents
Falling
More quotes by Dave Barry
And to you taxpayers out there, let me say this: Make sure you file your tax return on time! And remember that, even though income taxes can be a 'pain in the neck,' the folks at the IRS are regular people just like you, except that they can destroy your life
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I had arrived at the airport one hour early so that, in accordance with airline procedures, I could stand around.
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For 41 years I have gone with a very natural hair look that was originally popularized by coconuts.
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The information encoded in your DNA determines your unique biological characteristics, such as sex, eye color, age and Social Security number.
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This is true virtually all edible substances, and many automotive products, are now marketed as being low-fat or fat-free. Americans are obsessed with fat content.
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Software: These programs give instruction to the CPU, which processes billions of tiny facts called bytes, and within a fraction of a second it sends you an error message that requires you to call the customer-support hot line and be placed on hold for approximately the life-span of a caribou.
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If Mozart had power tools, there's no telling how great his music might have been.
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Ask not what your country can do for you. Ask whether your country has been inhaling paint-thinner fumes.
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I, alone, could never have produced this book. I say this mainly in case there are lawsuits.
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All other nations are drinking Ray Charles beer and we are drinking Barry Manilow.
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Basically Ken is a very gentle, home-loving person. I remember when one of his stick insects had a knee infection. He stayed up all night rubbing it with germoline and banging its head on the table.
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Florida's number three industry, behind tourism and skin cancer, is voter fraud.
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Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.
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You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.
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The IRS wants you to use this form because it gets to keep most of your money. So unless you have pond silt for brains, you want the long form.
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Never trust anything you read in a travel article.
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The Internet is the most important single development in the history of human communication since the invention of call waiting.
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American consumers have no problem with carcinogens, but they will not purchase any product, including floor wax, that has fat in it.
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It was you readers who really came through, proving once again that when the American people decide to get involved in a problem, it is best not to let them have any sharp implements.
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The only really good place to buy lumber is at a store where the lumber has already been cut and attached together in the form of furniture finished and put inside boxes.
Dave Barry
