Quote

Gravity is a contributing factor in nearly 73 percent of all accidents involving falling objects.

Dave Barry

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Dave Barry
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: July 3
Actor
Author
Columnist
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Satirist
Writer
Armonk (New York)
David McAlister Barry
David Barry
Accidents
Falling
Objects
Contributing
Percent
Involving
Fall
Factor
Gravity
Factors
Nearly

More quotes by Dave Barry

Image
Any parent that relies on any law to help him parent is an idiot.
Dave Barry
Image
Microsoft has a new version out, Windows XP, which according to everybody is the 'most reliable Windows ever.' To me, this is like saying that asparagus is 'the most articulate vegetable ever.'
Dave Barry
Image
I want a pit crew... I hate the procedure I currently have to go through when I have car problems.
Dave Barry
Image
If Mozart had power tools, there's no telling how great his music might have been.
Dave Barry
Image
The other major kind of computer is the Apple, which I do not recommend, because it is a wuss-o-rama New-Age computer you basically just plug in and use.
Dave Barry
Image
San Francisco leads the world in the category of Most People On The Sidewalk Holding Conversations With Purely Imaginary Companions.
Dave Barry
Image
You should definitely have a travel agent. Why go through all the hassle of dealing with airlines, hotels, and rental-car agencies yourself, only to see the arrangements get all screwed up, when with just a single phone call you can have a trained professional screw them up for you?
Dave Barry
Image
I do not mean to suggest for a moment that all it takes to be a top executive is a custom-tailored European suit. You also need the correct shirt and tie.
Dave Barry
Image
I really try to think cinematically, because that's how people read. They create a theater in their minds.
Dave Barry
Image
American consumers have no problem with carcinogens, but they will not purchase any product, including floor wax, that has fat in it.
Dave Barry
Image
My son wouldn't go get heroin. If he did or didn't, it wouldn't have anything to do with whether it was legal or illegal.
Dave Barry
Image
Back then, the entire Internet consisted of two slow, boxcar-sized UNIVAC computers about 50 feet apart, connected by a wire. It would take one of these computers an entire day to send an email to the other one, which would immediately delete it, because it was a Viagra ad.
Dave Barry
Image
Famous designers think nothing of putting their names on your clothing, but would have the servants set the dogs on you if you ever tried to put your name on their clothing.
Dave Barry
Image
Hardware: This is the part of the computer that stops working when you spill beer on it.
Dave Barry
Image
Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.
Dave Barry
Image
If you look at any list of great modern writers such as Ernest Hemingway, William Faulkner, and F. Scott Fitzgerald, you'll notice two things about them: 1. They all had editors. 2. They are all dead. Thus we can draw the scientific conclusion that editors are fatal.
Dave Barry
Image
To better understand why you need a personal computer, let's take a look at the pathetic mess you call your life.
Dave Barry
Image
I love the Olympics, because they enable people from all over the world to come together and--regardless of their political or cultural differences--accuse each other of cheating.
Dave Barry
Image
A perfect parent is a person with excellent child-rearing theories and no actual children.
Dave Barry
Image
Miami, you can never run out of material. As long as you have Miami around you, you will never, never stop being amused.
Dave Barry