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The Internet is the most important single development in the history of human communication since the invention of call waiting.

Dave Barry

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Dave Barry
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: July 3
Actor
Author
Columnist
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Satirist
Writer
Armonk (New York)
David McAlister Barry
David Barry
Human
Internet
Humans
Development
Important
Single
Technology
Since
Waiting
Call
Invention
History
Communication

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The Hawaiian Islands were discovered by hardy Polynesian sailors, who crossed thousands of miles of open ocean in primitive canoes, braving violent storm-tossed seas for months at a time. My family and I arrived by modern commercial aviation, which was infinitely worse.
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We journalists... are also extremely impressed with scientists, and we will, frankly, print just about any wacky thing they tell us, especially if it involves outer space.
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A full-grown manatee, which can weigh more than 1,000 pounds, looks like the result of a genetic experiment involving a walrus and the Goodyear Blimp.
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I, alone, could never have produced this book. I say this mainly in case there are lawsuits.
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Miami drivers will attempt to pass you inside a car wash.
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Before going on a diet you should consult your doctor, or at least send him some money.
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Dogs make good pets because they are very loyal
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Too many rocks in the mountains.
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The nuclear generator of brain sludge is television.
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Big business never pays a nickel in taxes, according to Ralph Nader, who represents a big consumer organization that never pays a nickel in taxes.
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Rembrandt's first name was Beauregard, which is why he never used it.
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Line printer paper is strongest at the perforations.
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In those days, most people read newspapers, whereas today, most people do not. What caused this change? One big factor, of course, is that people are a lot stupider than they used to be, although we here in the newspaper industry would never say so in print.
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The taxpayers cannot be relied upon to support performing arts such as opera. As a taxpayer, I am forced to admit that I would rather undergo a vasectomy via Weed Whacker than attend an opera.
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I'm not sure you can count as history, was Keith Richards's Life, which he so modestly titled it. I did find it a fascinating book. Keith's a pretty honest fellow.
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As the saying goes: If you're not part of the solution, you're a newspaper columnist.
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The Sixties are now considered a historical period, just like the Roman Empire.
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We idolized the Beatles, except for those of us who idolized the Rolling Stones, who in those days still had many of their original teeth.
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There was nowhere to sit except the bunk, which was covered with rotting food, and a wooden stool, upon which sat a large fur-covered lump—an old cheese, perhaps, or a dead cat.
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Of course God enjoys a good prank as much as the next infallible deity.
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