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The Internet is the most important single development in the history of human communication since the invention of call waiting.

Dave Barry

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Dave Barry
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: July 3
Actor
Author
Columnist
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Satirist
Writer
Armonk (New York)
David McAlister Barry
David Barry
Call
Invention
History
Communication
Human
Internet
Humans
Development
Important
Single
Technology
Since
Waiting

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Do not spit gum in the drinking fountains.
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English history consists largely of royal people getting their heads chopped off...Needless to say, this brand of history was a hit with our son.
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Like many members of the uncultured, Cheez-It consuming public, I am not good at grasping modern art.
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But the feeling I have, you know, is that I'll never come close to reading all, or even a thousandth- a billionth- of the books I'd probably love if I ever got to them.
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Too many bugs and leeches and spiders and spiderwebs. Please spray the wilderness to rid the area of these pests.
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Can we move this conversation along, I'm getting frightfully tired of 'hoa'.
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We Americans live in a nation where the medical-care system is second to none in the world, unless you count maybe 25 or 30 little scuzzball countries like Scotland that we could vaporize in seconds if we felt like it.
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AARP is a large and powerful organization, similar to the Mafia but more concerned about dietary fiber.
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Although humans tend to view sex as mainly a fun recreational activity sometimes resulting in death, in nature it is a far more serious matter.
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There's tremendous pressure, if you're in that [goverment] system, to be involved and be interested and to care about it. There's no room to say, This is stupid.
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When my generation was your age, we took crazy risks. The wildest thing was - prepare to be shocked - we deliberately ingested carbohydrates!
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The reason it's called Grape Nuts is that it contains dextrose, which is also sometimes called grape sugar, and also because Grape Nuts is catchier, in terms of marketing, than A Cross Between Gerbil Food and Gravel, which is what it tastes like.
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In more than 20 years of opening beers with guys, I have NEVER seen the Swedish Bikini Team show up. Almost always, the teams that show up in beer drinking situations consist of guys who have been playing league softball and smell like bus seats.
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There are no bad haircuts in cyberspace.
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My problem with chess was that all my pieces wanted to end the game as soon as possible.
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The Internet: transforming society and shaping the future through chat.
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My son, Rob....said the only time he ever wraps a gift is, quote, if it's such a poor gift that I don't want to be there when the person opens it.
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Trails need to be reconstructed. Please avoid building trails that go uphill.
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