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The voice in my head has a stutter, and that's really annoying. D-D-D-Dave Dave. What? K-K-K-Kill your p-p-p-parents. L-L-L-Loa... Write it down!
Dave Attell
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Dave Attell
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: January 18
Actor
Comedian
Television Actor
Rockville Centre
New York
Write
Stutter
Writing
Dave
Really
Annoying
Kill
Parents
Head
Parent
Voice
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I'm not the comic of the generation, I'm not even the funniest guy in my family.
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I never wanted to be famous.
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You know what my drink is? Jack Daniel's. Yes, that is a wild man drink. That should come with bail money, you know what I'm saying? Because on Jack, you don't know where you're going to end up, but you know when you get there, you won't be wearing any pants.
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I gotta quit smoking, doctor's orders, and the drinking, court orders.
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I smoke so much. Three packs a day... I went to the bathroom, a camel came out of my ass.
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I masturbate! I do it like I think if I keep doing it, I'm gonna win something.
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