Quote

I've never had a surprise birthday party. I've had every other type of surprise. I've had surprise beatings, surprise drug tests, surprise daughter I think.

Dave Attell

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Dave Attell
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: January 18
Actor
Comedian
Television Actor
Rockville Centre
New York
Daughter
Drug
Type
Party
Every
Beatings
Never
Birthday
Think
Tests
Thinking
Surprise

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Women have all the power because women have all the vaginas.
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You know what my drink is? Jack Daniel's. Yes, that is a wild man drink. That should come with bail money, you know what I'm saying? Because on Jack, you don't know where you're going to end up, but you know when you get there, you won't be wearing any pants.
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Remember when you're young and you think your dad is Superman? And then you grow up and realized he's just a drunk who wears a cape.
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I watch the Discovery Channel, and you know what I've discovered? I need a girlfriend.
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I like doing stand-up and I love putting out TV specials. I'm not an actor though, so I don't really have much choice in the matter.
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If you go to Germany and get drunk, at some point you will try to look up Hitler in the phone book.
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I feel like soundtrack music is almost like seeing the movie again, but with my ears.
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Is she crazy, like it says on her bracelet, or is she just looking at my sheets? I dunno!
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