Quote

I like doing stand-up and I love putting out TV specials. I'm not an actor though, so I don't really have much choice in the matter.

Dave Attell

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Dave Attell
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: January 18
Actor
Comedian
Television Actor
Rockville Centre
New York
Though
Actors
Matter
Specials
Much
Putting
Really
Choice
Love
Actor
Like
Stand
Choices

More quotes by Dave Attell

Image
I don't have a girlfriend but sometimes I like to pretend I do. I just stand in my apartment screaming No, that's not what I said!
Dave Attell
Image
Sex and murder are the same. Well, you say the same after both don't you? Damn I got to get the hell out of here! What was I thinking!
Dave Attell
Image
I don't watch reality TV.
Dave Attell
Image
Everything you do, burns calories. Getting up in the morning, 100 calories kicking the hooker out of your bed, another 100 diapering your monkey, 35 calories laughing at a midget, fun and 10 calories catching your girlfriend with another guy, 2000-3000 calories, depending on backswings.
Dave Attell
Image
I have no grand scheme.
Dave Attell
Image
So, I travel a lot. I hate traveling, mostly 'cause my dad used to beat me with a globe.
Dave Attell
Image
For a long time the people at my shows were sort of the Pantera-tattoo trucker guys, really cool dudes, but I don't know what happened to them. That's the crowd that I like, the ones that don't get so offended just to be offended.
Dave Attell
Image
You gotta make your own fun. That's right, listen to that mother of two, she knows what I'm talking about.
Dave Attell
Image
I get recognized, but I'm not really a famous famous.
Dave Attell
Image
I'm a joke comic. I tell jokes.
Dave Attell
Image
Being on the road is kind of lonely.
Dave Attell
Image
Jesse Joyce is a great writer.
Dave Attell
Image
I like doing stand-up and I love putting out TV specials.
Dave Attell
Image
Once you get offstage you're just like everyone else, and everyone else can get into a fight.
Dave Attell
Image
I went skiing today, too, yeah. I didn't wanna go. The girl I'm stalking wanted to go, so... I'm not kiddin!
Dave Attell
Image
If you go to Germany and get drunk, at some point you will try to look up Hitler in the phone book.
Dave Attell
Image
Sometimes you need a cigarette. Like after you have sex with a beautiful woman or a confused young man.
Dave Attell
Image
Every dude in here has had a fantasy about Jessica Simpson. Here's mine: Jessica, hold your sister Ashlee so I can kick her in the throat.
Dave Attell
Image
I gotta quit smoking, doctor's orders, and the drinking, court orders.
Dave Attell
Image
Aspirin will not bring dead hookers back to life.
Dave Attell