Quote

You gotta make your own fun. That's right, listen to that mother of two, she knows what I'm talking about.

Dave Attell

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Dave Attell
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: January 18
Actor
Comedian
Television Actor
Rockville Centre
New York
Talking
Funny
Mother
Two
Right
Gotta
Make
Listen
Humor
Fun

More quotes by Dave Attell

Image
Sometimes you need a cigarette. Like after you have sex with a beautiful woman or a confused young man.
Dave Attell
Image
Remember when you're young and you think your dad is Superman? And then you grow up and realized he's just a drunk who wears a cape.
Dave Attell
Image
I never wanted to be famous.
Dave Attell
Image
So I took her back to my place and we did it doggy style, not because we planned it that way, but that's just how she passed out.
Dave Attell
Image
I hang out with my dad mostly, my dad was in the military. He's at that age now where his war stories and other stories have blended together, so now you don't know what he's talking about. One time, we were surrounded, then we ran out of ammo, then we were fighting hand-to-hand, then we started dancing, and that's how I met your mother.
Dave Attell
Image
Sparklers are the gay cousins of the fireworks family.
Dave Attell
Image
I've never had a surprise birthday party. I've had every other type of surprise. I've had surprise beatings, surprise drug tests, surprise daughter I think.
Dave Attell
Image
I'm not a movie guy, I'm not a TV sitcom guy, but whatever seems to fit and is funny is good for me.
Dave Attell
Image
Jesse Joyce is a great writer.
Dave Attell
Image
For me, Molly Hatchet is high school. It makes me feel like I have hair and a future.
Dave Attell
Image
If I was to have sex with one animal it would be a horse. That is a beautiful animal. And when you have sex with a horse, you know you always have a ride home.
Dave Attell
Image
Aspirin will not bring dead hookers back to life.
Dave Attell
Image
I feel like soundtrack music is almost like seeing the movie again, but with my ears.
Dave Attell
Image
I have an imagination because my life is so boring that my imagination lets me get off the reality of what's going on.
Dave Attell
Image
What's the two things they tell you are healthiest to eat? Chicken and fish. You know what you should do? Combine them, eat a penguin.
Dave Attell
Image
Are you shooting webs of stupid at me?
Dave Attell
Image
Everyone was laughin'. Even that deaf mute boy was breathing heavy and pointing at me. Which is laughter to their kind.
Dave Attell
Image
You see a guy with one leg, he's got a story. Land mine '69. You see a guy with one arm, he's got a story, too. Snow blower, bottle of whiskey. You see a guy with one tooth, what would the story be? Well, uh, I like a lot of taffy.
Dave Attell
Image
So, I travel a lot. I hate traveling, mostly 'cause my dad used to beat me with a globe.
Dave Attell
Image
I'm not the comic of the generation, I'm not even the funniest guy in my family.
Dave Attell