Quote

I get recognized, but I'm not really a famous famous.

Dave Attell

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Dave Attell
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: January 18
Actor
Comedian
Television Actor
Rockville Centre
New York
Recognized
Famous
Really

More quotes by Dave Attell

Image
The voice in my head has a stutter, and that's really annoying. D-D-D-Dave Dave. What? K-K-K-Kill your p-p-p-parents. L-L-L-Loa... Write it down!
Dave Attell
Image
I'm sitting in the bus station, minding my own business, reading 'Ta-Da!' magazine a magazine by and for gay magicians, but that's a different story.
Dave Attell
Image
So I took her back to my place and we did it doggy style, not because we planned it that way, but that's just how she passed out.
Dave Attell
Image
Is she crazy, like it says on her bracelet, or is she just looking at my sheets? I dunno!
Dave Attell
Image
Once you get offstage you're just like everyone else, and everyone else can get into a fight.
Dave Attell
Image
I'm not a movie guy, I'm not a TV sitcom guy, but whatever seems to fit and is funny is good for me.
Dave Attell
Image
Sparklers are the gay cousins of the fireworks family.
Dave Attell
Image
You can say, 'Can I use your bathroom?' and nobody cares. But if you ask, 'Can I use the plop-plop machine?' it always breaks the conversation.
Dave Attell
Image
I smoke so much. Three packs a day... I went to the bathroom, a camel came out of my ass.
Dave Attell
Image
I watch the Discovery Channel, and you know what I've discovered? I need a girlfriend.
Dave Attell
Image
Sometimes you need a cigarette. Like after you have sex with a beautiful woman or a confused young man.
Dave Attell
Image
You gotta make your own fun. That's right, listen to that mother of two, she knows what I'm talking about.
Dave Attell
Image
I'm not the comic of the generation, I'm not even the funniest guy in my family.
Dave Attell
Image
My day jobs... I knew I was bad at those, so I didn't really have the confidence to think that I could do comedy. But I knew I hated the day jobs.
Dave Attell
Image
Are you shooting webs of stupid at me?
Dave Attell
Image
Women have all the power because women have all the vaginas.
Dave Attell
Image
Yeah, I know, some people are against drunk driving, and I call those people 'the cops.' But you know, sometimes, you've just got no choice those kids gotta get to school!
Dave Attell
Image
I like doing stand-up and I love putting out TV specials. I'm not an actor though, so I don't really have much choice in the matter.
Dave Attell
Image
Every dude in here has had a fantasy about Jessica Simpson. Here's mine: Jessica, hold your sister Ashlee so I can kick her in the throat.
Dave Attell
Image
Let's say you're in a situation where crystal meth can help you. Like, I don't know, you have too many teeth.
Dave Attell