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So, I travel a lot. I hate traveling, mostly 'cause my dad used to beat me with a globe.

Dave Attell

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Dave Attell
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: January 18
Actor
Comedian
Television Actor
Rockville Centre
New York
Cause
Globe
Humor
Globes
Causes
Traveling
Funny
Mostly
Hate
Beat
Used
Dad
Beats
Travel

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Yeah, I know, some people are against drunk driving, and I call those people 'the cops.' But you know, sometimes, you've just got no choice those kids gotta get to school!
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I never wanted to be famous.
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I'm a joke comic. I tell jokes.
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Everything you do, burns calories. Getting up in the morning, 100 calories kicking the hooker out of your bed, another 100 diapering your monkey, 35 calories laughing at a midget, fun and 10 calories catching your girlfriend with another guy, 2000-3000 calories, depending on backswings.
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