Quote

Sparklers are the gay cousins of the fireworks family.

Dave Attell

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Dave Attell
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: January 18
Actor
Comedian
Television Actor
Rockville Centre
New York
Cousins
Fireworks
Cousin
Gay
Family

More quotes by Dave Attell

Image
Jesse Joyce is a great writer.
Dave Attell
Image
I'm sitting in the bus station, minding my own business, reading 'Ta-Da!' magazine a magazine by and for gay magicians, but that's a different story.
Dave Attell
Image
I hang out with my dad mostly, my dad was in the military. He's at that age now where his war stories and other stories have blended together, so now you don't know what he's talking about. One time, we were surrounded, then we ran out of ammo, then we were fighting hand-to-hand, then we started dancing, and that's how I met your mother.
Dave Attell
Image
The voice in my head has a stutter, and that's really annoying. D-D-D-Dave Dave. What? K-K-K-Kill your p-p-p-parents. L-L-L-Loa... Write it down!
Dave Attell
Image
Sex and murder are the same. Well, you say the same after both don't you? Damn I got to get the hell out of here! What was I thinking!
Dave Attell
Image
If I was to have sex with one animal it would be a horse. That is a beautiful animal. And when you have sex with a horse, you know you always have a ride home.
Dave Attell
Image
I'm not a movie guy, I'm not a TV sitcom guy, but whatever seems to fit and is funny is good for me.
Dave Attell
Image
For me, Molly Hatchet is high school. It makes me feel like I have hair and a future.
Dave Attell
Image
I'm a joke comic. I tell jokes.
Dave Attell
Image
I never wanted to be famous.
Dave Attell
Image
If you take off your pants and her first reaction is, Awwww, look at it...like a little baby Jesus. Time to buy a Porsche.
Dave Attell
Image
I have no grand scheme.
Dave Attell
Image
Women have all the power because women have all the vaginas.
Dave Attell
Image
For a long time the people at my shows were sort of the Pantera-tattoo trucker guys, really cool dudes, but I don't know what happened to them. That's the crowd that I like, the ones that don't get so offended just to be offended.
Dave Attell
Image
I don't watch reality TV.
Dave Attell
Image
Being on the road is kind of lonely.
Dave Attell
Image
I'm not the comic of the generation, I'm not even the funniest guy in my family.
Dave Attell
Image
A joke is a joke, and people put too much meaning behind it. They react to it in the wrong way. I mean, you can boo or laugh, and that's pretty much what you're supposed to do with jokes. You're not supposed to take it any further than that.
Dave Attell
Image
So, I travel a lot. I hate traveling, mostly 'cause my dad used to beat me with a globe.
Dave Attell
Image
Aspirin will not bring dead hookers back to life.
Dave Attell