Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
Remember when you're young and you think your dad is Superman? And then you grow up and realized he's just a drunk who wears a cape.
Dave Attell
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Dave Attell
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: January 18
Actor
Comedian
Television Actor
Rockville Centre
New York
Remember
Wears
Young
Drunk
Think
Realized
Thinking
Dad
Humor
Grow
Cape
Grows
Capes
Funny
Superman
More quotes by Dave Attell
Sometimes. I get recognized, but I'm not really a famous famous. I'm pretty low on the showbiz totem pole - I mean, I'm no Jon or Kate plus eight. I'm just a comic, not a baby factory.
Dave Attell
If you go to Germany and get drunk, at some point you will try to look up Hitler in the phone book.
Dave Attell
Are you shooting webs of stupid at me?
Dave Attell
Women have all the power because women have all the vaginas.
Dave Attell
If I had a kid, I'd give him a name that would make everyone would want to say his name. I'd call him, Pizza-Pussy-Santa. I would! Cause everybody likes one of those things.
Dave Attell
Being on the road is kind of lonely.
Dave Attell
I hang out with my dad mostly, my dad was in the military. He's at that age now where his war stories and other stories have blended together, so now you don't know what he's talking about. One time, we were surrounded, then we ran out of ammo, then we were fighting hand-to-hand, then we started dancing, and that's how I met your mother.
Dave Attell
I get recognized, but I'm not really a famous famous.
Dave Attell
What's the two things they tell you are healthiest to eat? Chicken and fish. You know what you should do? Combine them, eat a penguin.
Dave Attell
Once you get offstage you're just like everyone else, and everyone else can get into a fight.
Dave Attell
For a long time the people at my shows were sort of the Pantera-tattoo trucker guys, really cool dudes, but I don't know what happened to them. That's the crowd that I like, the ones that don't get so offended just to be offended.
Dave Attell
I have an imagination because my life is so boring that my imagination lets me get off the reality of what's going on.
Dave Attell
Let's say you're in a situation where crystal meth can help you. Like, I don't know, you have too many teeth.
Dave Attell
I don't have a girlfriend but sometimes I like to pretend I do. I just stand in my apartment screaming No, that's not what I said!
Dave Attell
Jesse Joyce is a great writer.
Dave Attell
Aspirin will not bring dead hookers back to life.
Dave Attell
I like doing stand-up and I love putting out TV specials.
Dave Attell
Is she crazy, like it says on her bracelet, or is she just looking at my sheets? I dunno!
Dave Attell
I watch the Discovery Channel, and you know what I've discovered? I need a girlfriend.
Dave Attell
So, I travel a lot. I hate traveling, mostly 'cause my dad used to beat me with a globe.
Dave Attell