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Everyone was laughin'. Even that deaf mute boy was breathing heavy and pointing at me. Which is laughter to their kind.
Dave Attell
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Dave Attell
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: January 18
Actor
Comedian
Television Actor
Rockville Centre
New York
Even
Pointing
Kind
Breathing
Heavy
Laughter
Humor
Boys
Funny
Mute
Everyone
Deaf
More quotes by Dave Attell
I like doing stand-up and I love putting out TV specials.
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I masturbate! I do it like I think if I keep doing it, I'm gonna win something.
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For me, Molly Hatchet is high school. It makes me feel like I have hair and a future.
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I have an imagination because my life is so boring that my imagination lets me get off the reality of what's going on.
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I went skiing today, too, yeah. I didn't wanna go. The girl I'm stalking wanted to go, so... I'm not kiddin!
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Jesse Joyce is a great writer.
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I'm not a movie guy, I'm not a TV sitcom guy, but whatever seems to fit and is funny is good for me.
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A joke is a joke, and people put too much meaning behind it. They react to it in the wrong way. I mean, you can boo or laugh, and that's pretty much what you're supposed to do with jokes. You're not supposed to take it any further than that.
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Here's a tip: never get drunk while wearing a hooded sweatshirt. You will eventually think there's someone right behind you.
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I've never had a surprise birthday party. I've had every other type of surprise. I've had surprise beatings, surprise drug tests, surprise daughter I think.
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So, I travel a lot. I hate traveling, mostly 'cause my dad used to beat me with a globe.
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Once you get offstage you're just like everyone else, and everyone else can get into a fight.
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I'm sitting in the bus station, minding my own business, reading 'Ta-Da!' magazine a magazine by and for gay magicians, but that's a different story.
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I never wanted to be famous.
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I smoke so much. Three packs a day... I went to the bathroom, a camel came out of my ass.
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I'm not the comic of the generation, I'm not even the funniest guy in my family.
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You know what my drink is? Jack Daniel's. Yes, that is a wild man drink. That should come with bail money, you know what I'm saying? Because on Jack, you don't know where you're going to end up, but you know when you get there, you won't be wearing any pants.
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Remember when you're young and you think your dad is Superman? And then you grow up and realized he's just a drunk who wears a cape.
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Let's say you're in a situation where crystal meth can help you. Like, I don't know, you have too many teeth.
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I get recognized, but I'm not really a famous famous.
Dave Attell
