Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
Everyone was laughin'. Even that deaf mute boy was breathing heavy and pointing at me. Which is laughter to their kind.
Dave Attell
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Dave Attell
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: January 18
Actor
Comedian
Television Actor
Rockville Centre
New York
Boys
Funny
Mute
Everyone
Deaf
Even
Pointing
Kind
Breathing
Heavy
Laughter
Humor
More quotes by Dave Attell
If I had a kid, I'd give him a name that would make everyone would want to say his name. I'd call him, Pizza-Pussy-Santa. I would! Cause everybody likes one of those things.
Dave Attell
So I took her back to my place and we did it doggy style, not because we planned it that way, but that's just how she passed out.
Dave Attell
I feel like soundtrack music is almost like seeing the movie again, but with my ears.
Dave Attell
Yeah, I know, some people are against drunk driving, and I call those people 'the cops.' But you know, sometimes, you've just got no choice those kids gotta get to school!
Dave Attell
I'm sitting in the bus station, minding my own business, reading 'Ta-Da!' magazine a magazine by and for gay magicians, but that's a different story.
Dave Attell
If you go to Germany and get drunk, at some point you will try to look up Hitler in the phone book.
Dave Attell
Is she crazy, like it says on her bracelet, or is she just looking at my sheets? I dunno!
Dave Attell
Everything you do, burns calories. Getting up in the morning, 100 calories kicking the hooker out of your bed, another 100 diapering your monkey, 35 calories laughing at a midget, fun and 10 calories catching your girlfriend with another guy, 2000-3000 calories, depending on backswings.
Dave Attell
I don't have a girlfriend but sometimes I like to pretend I do. I just stand in my apartment screaming No, that's not what I said!
Dave Attell
You see a guy with one leg, he's got a story. Land mine '69. You see a guy with one arm, he's got a story, too. Snow blower, bottle of whiskey. You see a guy with one tooth, what would the story be? Well, uh, I like a lot of taffy.
Dave Attell
I tell you one thing that's great about children. They don't need a show to have fun. What do they need? A book of matches, some oily rags, a little brother... that's all they need.
Dave Attell
My day jobs... I knew I was bad at those, so I didn't really have the confidence to think that I could do comedy. But I knew I hated the day jobs.
Dave Attell
Sometimes. I get recognized, but I'm not really a famous famous. I'm pretty low on the showbiz totem pole - I mean, I'm no Jon or Kate plus eight. I'm just a comic, not a baby factory.
Dave Attell
I never wanted to be famous.
Dave Attell
Once you get offstage you're just like everyone else, and everyone else can get into a fight.
Dave Attell
If you take off your pants and her first reaction is, Awwww, look at it...like a little baby Jesus. Time to buy a Porsche.
Dave Attell
Aspirin will not bring dead hookers back to life.
Dave Attell
Sparklers are the gay cousins of the fireworks family.
Dave Attell
Sometimes you need a cigarette. Like after you have sex with a beautiful woman or a confused young man.
Dave Attell
I like doing stand-up and I love putting out TV specials. I'm not an actor though, so I don't really have much choice in the matter.
Dave Attell
