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I did that thing where you scratch your eyebrow and flip someone off at the same time. I'm good at multitasking like that.

Darynda Jones

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Darynda Jones
Age: 59
Author
Novelist
Writer
Friona
Texas
Scratches
Eyebrows
Flip
Someone
Thing
Good
Multitasking
Time
Eyebrow
Like
Scratch

More quotes by Darynda Jones

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What's your specialty? Oh, you know. Madness. Mayhem. Debauchery. And even with all that going for me, I can still make a mean mojito.
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I noticed you tore down Donovan's house. He lifted his gaze until it locked with mine. He's alive because he left town. His house chose to stay. It paid the price.
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I was white. Chalk had more color than I did. And quite possibly more personality.
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Who is Dr. A. von Holstein? And is he related, by chance, to a race of cows?
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She didn't smile back. Not even a little. I totally needed to read that book on how to win friends and influence people. But that would involve an innate desire to win friends and influence people.
Darynda Jones
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If I was going to go out tonight, I was going to go out fighting. Or screaming in agony. Either way.
Darynda Jones
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I’m Charlotte Davidson: private investigator, police consultant, all -around badass. Or I could’ve been a badass, had I stuck with those lessons in mixed martial arts. I was only in that class to learn how to kill people with paper.
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Can I brush your hair?” she asked as she led the way, her disposition doing a 180 on a dime. Kids. Can’t live with ’em. Can’t eat ’em for lunch.
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The funny thing about GPS was it didn’t always send you in the right direction. I knew that if I took a right and took Twelfth instead, I’d get there faster, so I turned right. Ozzy did not approve. “Wut the foock?
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If I couldn't be a good example, I'd just have to be a horrible warning.
Darynda Jones
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My real mom died when I was born—hemorrhaged to death while giving birth to me, which has never been one of my favorite memories—and Dad married Denise before I’d turned a year. Without even asking my opinion on the matter. Denise and I never really clicked.
Darynda Jones
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Maybe I needed sensitivity training. I once signed up for an anger management class, but the instructor pissed me off.
Darynda Jones
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Rocket, I said, straightening in the chair. Donovan was just helping me with my contacts. Donovan raised his brows humorously. Rocket furrowed his. Did you swallow them?
Darynda Jones
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Have they even seen the Winchester boys? Sammy and Dean's existence proves there is a god and she is a woman.
Darynda Jones
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Ask me about my complete lack of interest. (T-shirt)
Darynda Jones
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I often question my sanity. Occasionally, it replies.
Darynda Jones
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―You realize I can hear you without the annoying intercom. Cookie and I both leaned forward and looked at each other through the doorway. ―But this is more fun, I said. ―More Star Trekkie.
Darynda Jones
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I could be irksome when I put my left ventricle into it.
Darynda Jones
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Paperwork wouldn’t be so bad if it weren’t for all the paper. And the work.
Darynda Jones
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When life hands you lemons say, Lemons? What else have you got? - bumper sticker
Darynda Jones