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I did that thing where you scratch your eyebrow and flip someone off at the same time. I'm good at multitasking like that.

Darynda Jones

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Darynda Jones
Age: 59
Author
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Friona
Texas
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Scratch
Scratches
Eyebrows
Flip
Someone
Thing
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I may not have any skeletons in my closet, but I do have a little box of souls in my sock drawer. —T-SHIRT
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It isn’t the fall that will kill you, but the sudden stop.
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It’s all fun and games until someone loses a testicle. —T-SHIRT
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I like to see the glass as half full, hopefully of jack daniels.
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Insanity does NOT run in my family. It strolls through, takes it's time, and gets to know everyone personally - T-Shirt
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Okay, I'll strip. I'll tap dance. I'll sing 'La Cucaracha' in C minor.
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Have they even seen the Winchester boys? Sammy and Dean's existence proves there is a god and she is a woman.
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Where you just possessed? Cookie asked after a long moment, awe softening her voice. 'Cause let me tell you, sweetheart, if that was possession, I'm selling my soul.
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Just in case, though, I stormed into my apartment, tossed a quick hello to Mr. Wong, then rummaged through my entertainment center to lay out all my exorcism equipment. I kept it in my entertainment center because exorcisms were nothing if not entertaining.
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I’m Charlotte Davidson: private investigator, police consultant, all -around badass. Or I could’ve been a badass, had I stuck with those lessons in mixed martial arts. I was only in that class to learn how to kill people with paper.
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He had given me so much information, I wanted some time to absorb it all, but I didn't want to leave him. Not like this. Not ever, as long as I lived. Or until I had to get back on the case. Whichever came first.
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There comes a moment when you know you just aren't going to do anything esle productive for the rest of the day.-T-Shirt
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Glitch was about as wild and unpredictable as a carrot stick.
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Pretending to drink coffee was similar to faking an orgasm.
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You take everything onto your shoulders like that guy who holds up the world, and you shouldn’t. You’re not nearly as muscular.
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Apparently, this really was Kill Charley Davidson Week. Or at least Horribly Maim Her.... It would probably never get government recognition, though, destined to be underappreciated like Halloween or Thesaurus Day.
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Rocket, I said, straightening in the chair. Donovan was just helping me with my contacts. Donovan raised his brows humorously. Rocket furrowed his. Did you swallow them?
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When fighting clowns, always go for the juggler.
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Chocolate and coffee ? Together ? Whoever came up with that combination should have won a Nobel Peace Prize. Or at least a subscription to Reader's Digest.
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Maybe I needed sensitivity training. I once signed up for an anger management class, but the instructor pissed me off.
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