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I did that thing where you scratch your eyebrow and flip someone off at the same time. I'm good at multitasking like that.

Darynda Jones

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Darynda Jones
Age: 59
Author
Novelist
Writer
Friona
Texas
Like
Scratch
Scratches
Eyebrows
Flip
Someone
Thing
Good
Multitasking
Time
Eyebrow

More quotes by Darynda Jones

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I like to see the glass as half full, hopefully of jack daniels.
Darynda Jones
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You’re just using me for my body.” “You don’t have a body,” I’d remind him. “Throw that in my face.” “Technically, you don’t have a face either.
Darynda Jones
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He seemed determines, his resolve unwavering. This would take tact. Prudence. Possible Milk Duds.
Darynda Jones
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I had yet to be a mother, but I would have thought it difficult to forget something it took thirty-seven hours of excruciating pain to push out from between my legs ~Charley Davidson
Darynda Jones
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Rocket, I said, straightening in the chair. Donovan was just helping me with my contacts. Donovan raised his brows humorously. Rocket furrowed his. Did you swallow them?
Darynda Jones
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My plans often went awry. Much like my thoughts. Hold the phones. Maybe Saan had ADD, too. It would explain a lot.
Darynda Jones
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Hey, I'm going to Super Dog for a quick bite and to pass along a message from a dead guy to his girlfriend. You should come with me. I can't go with you. Is it because of my questionable morals? No, it's because it's three o'clock in the afternoon and I have to pick up Amber from school. Oh, right. So the morals thing doesn't bothe
Darynda Jones
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That you honestly believe I am capable of hurting innocent people for no reason.” “You’re not?” I asked, hope softening my voice. “Oh, no, I’m more than capable. I just didn’t realize you knew that.
Darynda Jones
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I was just passing by. Saw the commotion. Figured you were involved.
Darynda Jones
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Mistakes were made. Others were blamed.
Darynda Jones
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My real mom died when I was born—hemorrhaged to death while giving birth to me, which has never been one of my favorite memories—and Dad married Denise before I’d turned a year. Without even asking my opinion on the matter. Denise and I never really clicked.
Darynda Jones
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Okay, I’ll put someone on it. But you know, the Albuquerque Police Department wasn’t really created to find things out for you.” “Really? That’s weird.
Darynda Jones
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But have you ever seen one?....They shook their heads. Not Physically, no. But if you look at this passage - Man, she liked that Bible. I'd read it and could definitely understand it's appeal, but I didn't have time for this.
Darynda Jones
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Chocolate and coffee ? Together ? Whoever came up with that combination should have won a Nobel Peace Prize. Or at least a subscription to Reader's Digest.
Darynda Jones
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Surely my macking on some guy in an insane asylum wouldn't hurt him. He'd been living with his stalker, for heaven's sake.
Darynda Jones
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What do I look like, the ghost whisperer? They're loony. I'd have better luck talking to my cousin Alfonso's Chihuahua. At least Tía Juana knows Spanish. Your cousin's Chihuahua is named Tía Juana?
Darynda Jones
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I chose the road less traveled. Now I'm lost.
Darynda Jones
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I shifted in my chair as Dad waited for a response. He seemed determined, his resolve unwavering. This would take tact. Prudence. Possibly Milk Duds. “Are you psychotic?” I asked, realizing my plan to charm and bribe him if need be flew out the window the minute I opened my mouth.
Darynda Jones
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If it weren’t for physics and law enforcement, I’d be unstoppable.
Darynda Jones
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I'd never taken to four foot creatures who had the uncanny ability to point out all my flaws in thirty second flat. And just for the record, I can too read without moving my lips.
Darynda Jones