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I did that thing where you scratch your eyebrow and flip someone off at the same time. I'm good at multitasking like that.
Darynda Jones
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Darynda Jones
Age: 59
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Friona
Texas
Scratches
Eyebrows
Flip
Someone
Thing
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More quotes by Darynda Jones
I can hear other things, too. Before you came around, I had no idea a man could make a girl scream like that. Reyes seems very talented.
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Insanity does NOT run in my family. It strolls through, takes it's time, and gets to know everyone personally - T-Shirt
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He had threatened my parents. I had to remember that. Still, it was really hard to stay mad at a wounded naked man.
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Honestly, he acted as though he didn't like me anymore. Wait, maybe he didn't. Do you still like me? I never liked you. Oh, right. He had a point. Garreth & Charley
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You take everything onto your shoulders like that guy who holds up the world, and you shouldn’t. You’re not nearly as muscular.
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Apparently, this really was Kill Charley Davidson Week. Or at least Horribly Maim Her.... It would probably never get government recognition, though, destined to be underappreciated like Halloween or Thesaurus Day.
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Don't judge me because I'm quiet. No one plans a murder out loud.
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If life hands you lemons,keep them. Because, hey, free lemons.-T-Shirt
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I love children, but I don't think I can eat a whole one.- Bumper sticker
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Okay, I’ll put someone on it. But you know, the Albuquerque Police Department wasn’t really created to find things out for you.” “Really? That’s weird.
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I knew dating the son of Satan would turn out badly
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If it weren’t for physics and law enforcement, I’d be unstoppable.
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Drink coffee! Do stupid things faster and with more energy!
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Maybe I needed sensitivity training. I once signed up for an anger management class, but the instructor pissed me off.
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I like to see the glass as half full, hopefully of jack daniels.
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His gaze slid over me like a veil of fire. He could ignite my deepest desires with a single glance. I decided right then and there no more reading romance novels by candelight.
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This place is like crazy on crackers.
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Let me express how much I don't care on a scale of one to bite me, the former detective said.
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Man, that woman was quick when she wanted to be. But put her behind the wheel of a Buick.
Darynda Jones
There is a great need for a sarcasm font.
Darynda Jones