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I often question my sanity. Occasionally, it replies.
Darynda Jones
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Darynda Jones
Age: 59
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Friona
Texas
Replies
Occasionally
Sanity
Question
Often
More quotes by Darynda Jones
Still, this whole grim reaper thing should have come with a manual. Or a diagram of some kind. A flowchart would have been nice.
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I went down like a drunken cowgirl trying to line dance to Metallica.
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Let me express how much I don't care on a scale of one to bite me, the former detective said.
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Apparently, this really was Kill Charley Davidson Week. Or at least Horribly Maim Her.... It would probably never get government recognition, though, destined to be underappreciated like Halloween or Thesaurus Day.
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His gaze slid over me like a veil of fire. He could ignite my deepest desires with a single glance. I decided right then and there no more reading romance novels by candelight.
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I like to see the glass as half full, hopefully of jack daniels.
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The police never find it as funny as you do.-T-Shirt
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Man, I want to be someone's forbidden fruit. Well, you are pretty fruity.
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Friends don't let friends get killed by serial killers
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SOME GIRLS WEAR PRADA. SOME GIRLS WEAR GLOCK 17 SHORT RECOIL SPRING-LOADED SEMIAUTOMATIC PISTOLS WITH A LOADED CHAMBER INDICATOR AND A NONSLIP GRIP. - T-SHIRT
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You were the one who hit me on the roof? I hit you on the jaw. We just happened to be on a roof at the time.
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After a geological epoch passed in which single-celled organisms evolved into talk show hosts, Mr. Coffee was still holding out on me.
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What did one say to a stalker? Um, pardon me, Mr.Stalker, but could you, like, not?
Darynda Jones
Honestly, he acted as though he didn't like me anymore. Wait, maybe he didn't. Do you still like me? I never liked you. Oh, right. He had a point. Garreth & Charley
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She still wasn't convinced. So, if you were a guy, would you be into me? Hon, if I were a guy, I'd be gay. Yeah, me, too.
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I noticed you tore down Donovan's house. He lifted his gaze until it locked with mine. He's alive because he left town. His house chose to stay. It paid the price.
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I'd never taken to four foot creatures who had the uncanny ability to point out all my flaws in thirty second flat. And just for the record, I can too read without moving my lips.
Darynda Jones
I chose the road less traveled. Now I'm lost.
Darynda Jones
SARC- was my second favorite -ASM word
Darynda Jones
Having Reyes so near is painful. I think it has apoplexy. Do you even know what that means? No, but it sounds serious. Like Ebola. Or hives
Darynda Jones