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I often question my sanity. Occasionally, it replies.

Darynda Jones

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Darynda Jones
Age: 59
Author
Novelist
Writer
Friona
Texas
Often
Replies
Occasionally
Sanity
Question

More quotes by Darynda Jones

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He’d actually hit me! It didn’t matter that hitting me wasn’t really like hitting a regular girl and I’d be completely healed in a matter of hours. I was still a freaking girl, and he damned well knew it. I’d just have to hit him back. With a lead pipe. Or an eighteen-wheeler.
Darynda Jones
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He had threatened my parents. I had to remember that. Still, it was really hard to stay mad at a wounded naked man.
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Maybe I needed sensitivity training. I once signed up for an anger management class, but the instructor pissed me off.
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But we'd never really seen eye to eye. Mostly 'cause he was much taller than I was.
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I may not have any skeletons in my closet, but I do have a little box of souls in my sock drawer. —T-SHIRT
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Paperwork wouldn’t be so bad if it weren’t for all the paper. And the work.
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.. an emergency stash of Thin Mints. Frickin' Girl Scouts. Those things were way to addictive. They had to be laced with crack. Charlie Davidson Fourth Grave Beneath my Feet
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See you in a few. Hold down the fort, Mr. Wong!
Darynda Jones
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Pretending to drink coffee was similar to faking an orgasm.
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I love children, but I don't think I can eat a whole one.- Bumper sticker
Darynda Jones
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Still, this whole grim reaper thing should have come with a manual. Or a diagram of some kind. A flowchart would have been nice.
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Don't judge me because I'm quiet. No one plans a murder out loud.
Darynda Jones
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He's helped me a lot over the years. I'm sure he has. You scratch his back. He scratches yours. I have skin allergies. I'm itchy.
Darynda Jones
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His gaze slid over me like a veil of fire. He could ignite my deepest desires with a single glance. I decided right then and there no more reading romance novels by candelight.
Darynda Jones
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My prodding me didn't elicit a reaction. His unseeing eyes stared straight through me. Which was odd. He'd seemed so sane huddled in Cookie's trunk.
Darynda Jones
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Come here often?' I asked instead, humoring no one but myself. So it was totally worth it.
Darynda Jones
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I like to see the glass as half full, hopefully of jack daniels.
Darynda Jones
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Okay, I’ll put someone on it. But you know, the Albuquerque Police Department wasn’t really created to find things out for you.” “Really? That’s weird.
Darynda Jones
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My real mom died when I was born—hemorrhaged to death while giving birth to me, which has never been one of my favorite memories—and Dad married Denise before I’d turned a year. Without even asking my opinion on the matter. Denise and I never really clicked.
Darynda Jones
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After a geological epoch passed in which single-celled organisms evolved into talk show hosts, Mr. Coffee was still holding out on me.
Darynda Jones