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You take everything onto your shoulders like that guy who holds up the world, and you shouldn’t. You’re not nearly as muscular.

Darynda Jones

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Darynda Jones
Age: 59
Author
Novelist
Writer
Friona
Texas
Everything
Take
Muscular
Like
Onto
World
Holds
Nearly
Shoulders
Shouldn
Guy

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Who is Dr. A. von Holstein? And is he related, by chance, to a race of cows?
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My prodding me didn't elicit a reaction. His unseeing eyes stared straight through me. Which was odd. He'd seemed so sane huddled in Cookie's trunk.
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There is nothing to fear but fear itself. And spiders. ~Bumper sticker~
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Then I asked her if she wanted to to the funeral, and my God, the look on her face. You'd think I'd asked her to drown the neighbor's cat. Admittedly, drowning the neighbor's cat didn't really clue me in as much as I would've liked. So, she was angry? He blinked back to me and stared. Like a long time.
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In Cookie's defense, it was raining wildcats and rabid dogs.
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I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger. - T-SHIRT
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After a long, labored sigh, I said, “She was really happy when I got there. I’m pretty sure she was suicidal when I left.” “You do have that effect on people.
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I could hardly be responsible for my actions when everyone around me gave me every opportunity to sink to their low expectations.
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Death comes to those who wait. And to those who don't. So either way.
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Chocolate and coffee ? Together ? Whoever came up with that combination should have won a Nobel Peace Prize. Or at least a subscription to Reader's Digest.
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I’m Charlotte Davidson: private investigator, police consultant, all -around badass. Or I could’ve been a badass, had I stuck with those lessons in mixed martial arts. I was only in that class to learn how to kill people with paper.
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It’s all fun and games until someone loses a testicle. —T-SHIRT
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There was nothing like a trip to the gynecologist to make one feel just a little violated. Charley
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After a geological epoch passed in which single-celled organisms evolved into talk show hosts, Mr. Coffee was still holding out on me.
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Give it up? Not likely. Besides, what else would I do? I totally should have gone to Hogwart's when I had the chance.
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I may as well cut my losses and make a hasty exit while I still had enough self-esteem to walk upright. Crawling was so demoralizing
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He was like chocolate-covered heroin, and I was an addict through and through.
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Still, this whole grim reaper thing should have come with a manual. Or a diagram of some kind. A flowchart would have been nice.
Darynda Jones
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I had yet to be a mother, but I would have thought it difficult to forget something it took thirty-seven hours of excruciating pain to push out from between my legs ~Charley Davidson
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She shook her head then took off again, and I found myself struggling to keep up with her in my bunny slippers. With a sigh, I realized I was getting way too much exercise. I'd just have to counteract it later with cake.
Darynda Jones