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The dead guy looked at me with wide eyes. “I can’t move my legs.” I snorted. “You can’t move your arms either, or your feet or your freaking eyelids. You’re dead.

Darynda Jones

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Darynda Jones
Age: 59
Author
Novelist
Writer
Friona
Texas
Dead
Snorted
Feet
Freaking
Either
Eyelids
Eyes
Legs
Guy
Wide
Eye
Looked
Moving
Arms
Move

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When fighting clowns, always go for the juggler.
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Want coffee? I asked, as I headed that way. It's three thirty in the morning. Okay. Want coffee?
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The point is, stories can be all lengths. Never underestimate the power of “less is more.
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Whatever makes your balloon red, Swopes.
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There is nothing to fear but fear itself. And spiders. ~Bumper sticker~
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What did one say to a stalker? Um, pardon me, Mr.Stalker, but could you, like, not?
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Honestly, he acted as though he didn't like me anymore. Wait, maybe he didn't. Do you still like me? I never liked you. Oh, right. He had a point. Garreth & Charley
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I may not have any skeletons in my closet, but I do have a little box of souls in my sock drawer. —T-SHIRT
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He said you sparkle like a newborn galaxy and have more attitude than a rich kid with his daddy's Porsche.
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Drink coffee! Do stupid things faster and with more energy!
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Felt my heartbeat falter, hesitate, then stumble awkwardly forward, tripping on the next beat, then the next, faster and faster until each one tumbled into the other like the drumroll of dominoes crashing together. Funny how time stands still when death is imminent.
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I had yet to be a mother, but I would have thought it difficult to forget something it took thirty-seven hours of excruciating pain to push out from between my legs ~Charley Davidson
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I'd have a longer attention span if there weren't so many shiny things.
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SOME GIRLS WEAR PRADA. SOME GIRLS WEAR GLOCK 17 SHORT RECOIL SPRING-LOADED SEMIAUTOMATIC PISTOLS WITH A LOADED CHAMBER INDICATOR AND A NONSLIP GRIP. - T-SHIRT
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Paperwork wouldn’t be so bad if it weren’t for all the paper. And the work.
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I may as well cut my losses and make a hasty exit while I still had enough self-esteem to walk upright. Crawling was so demoralizing
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Who is Dr. A. von Holstein? And is he related, by chance, to a race of cows?
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