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Okay, I'll strip. I'll tap dance. I'll sing 'La Cucaracha' in C minor.

Darynda Jones

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Darynda Jones
Age: 59
Author
Novelist
Writer
Friona
Texas
Strip
Minor
Minors
Sing
Dance
Okay

More quotes by Darynda Jones

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Come here often?' I asked instead, humoring no one but myself. So it was totally worth it.
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I pointed in the general vicinity of my left ovary, This is Beam Me Up. Then to my right. And this is Scotty. Garret chuckled and buried his face in his hands. He asked.
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Who is Dr. A. von Holstein? And is he related, by chance, to a race of cows?
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Rocket, I said, straightening in the chair. Donovan was just helping me with my contacts. Donovan raised his brows humorously. Rocket furrowed his. Did you swallow them?
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Nobody wants to look like a fool. Nine times out of ten, that reason alone keeps people from allowing themselves to believe.
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I knew dating the son of Satan would turn out badly
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Yeah, but what happens if life hands me pickles? - Bumper sticker
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Still, this whole grim reaper thing should have come with a manual. Or a diagram of some kind. A flowchart would have been nice.
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My real mom died when I was born—hemorrhaged to death while giving birth to me, which has never been one of my favorite memories—and Dad married Denise before I’d turned a year. Without even asking my opinion on the matter. Denise and I never really clicked.
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I'm a virgin. But this is an old shirt. --T-SHIRT
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When I want your opinion, I'll remove the duct tape.--T-SHIRT
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Paperwork wouldn’t be so bad if it weren’t for all the paper. And the work.
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He had given me so much information, I wanted some time to absorb it all, but I didn't want to leave him. Not like this. Not ever, as long as I lived. Or until I had to get back on the case. Whichever came first.
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Friends don't let friends get killed by serial killers
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I chose the road less traveled. Now I'm lost.
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If I was going to go out tonight, I was going to go out fighting. Or screaming in agony. Either way.
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I can hear other things, too. Before you came around, I had no idea a man could make a girl scream like that. Reyes seems very talented.
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Reyes Farrow. Because perfection is a dirty job, but someone has to do it.
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I know, he said in almost bored contemplation. My manners suck. I like to chalk it up to a dissatisfying childhood. I'd chalk it up to that narcissistic personality disorder laces with a smidgen of schizophrenia. Your mother would be proud.
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A sheriff arrested me. I could be mistaken, but I'm pretty sure my men-in-uniform fetish began that day. The sheriff was hot. And he handcuffed me. I've never been the same.
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