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Okay, I'll strip. I'll tap dance. I'll sing 'La Cucaracha' in C minor.

Darynda Jones

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Darynda Jones
Age: 59
Author
Novelist
Writer
Friona
Texas
Minors
Sing
Dance
Okay
Strip
Minor

More quotes by Darynda Jones

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Death comes to those who wait. And to those who don't. So either way.
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But we'd never really seen eye to eye. Mostly 'cause he was much taller than I was.
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What's your specialty? Oh, you know. Madness. Mayhem. Debauchery. And even with all that going for me, I can still make a mean mojito.
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It’s all fun and games until someone loses a testicle. —T-SHIRT
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The point is, stories can be all lengths. Never underestimate the power of “less is more.
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If I was going to go out tonight, I was going to go out fighting. Or screaming in agony. Either way.
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He bombarded me with words, of all things, apparently clueless to the fact that the predawn hours rendered me incapable of coherent thought.
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I noticed you tore down Donovan's house. He lifted his gaze until it locked with mine. He's alive because he left town. His house chose to stay. It paid the price.
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I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger. - T-SHIRT
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He’d actually hit me! It didn’t matter that hitting me wasn’t really like hitting a regular girl and I’d be completely healed in a matter of hours. I was still a freaking girl, and he damned well knew it. I’d just have to hit him back. With a lead pipe. Or an eighteen-wheeler.
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I was white. Chalk had more color than I did. And quite possibly more personality.
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He seemed determines, his resolve unwavering. This would take tact. Prudence. Possible Milk Duds.
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Who knew that all this time the nectar of the Gods was in my va-jay-jay.
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God I loved Sammy. I’d considered marrying him, but his wife got upset when I asked for his hand.
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When fighting clowns, always go for the juggler.
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I was just passing by. Saw the commotion. Figured you were involved.
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My prodding me didn't elicit a reaction. His unseeing eyes stared straight through me. Which was odd. He'd seemed so sane huddled in Cookie's trunk.
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I'd never taken to four foot creatures who had the uncanny ability to point out all my flaws in thirty second flat. And just for the record, I can too read without moving my lips.
Darynda Jones
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Man, I want to be someone's forbidden fruit. Well, you are pretty fruity.
Darynda Jones
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Still, this whole grim reaper thing should have come with a manual. Or a diagram of some kind. A flowchart would have been nice.
Darynda Jones