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Does Uncle Bob have anything? I heard he has an STD. I mean on the women. Oh, I have no idea if they have any STDs.

Darynda Jones

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Darynda Jones
Age: 59
Author
Novelist
Writer
Friona
Texas
Idea
Doe
Women
Anything
Ideas
Uncle
Mean
Uncles
Bob
Heard

More quotes by Darynda Jones

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I climbed into Misery and called Uncle Bob. “We hooking up?” “Why does everything out of your mouth make me sound incestuous?” “Um, I wasn’t aware that it did. Perhaps you have a guilty conscience.” “Charley.” “Is there something you need to get off your chest? Besides that skank I saw you with the other day?
Darynda Jones
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I was just passing by. Saw the commotion. Figured you were involved.
Darynda Jones
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Apparently, this really was Kill Charley Davidson Week. Or at least Horribly Maim Her.... It would probably never get government recognition, though, destined to be underappreciated like Halloween or Thesaurus Day.
Darynda Jones
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We stood there, the three of us, our jaws firmly planted on the floor. Aunt Lil recovered first. She nudged me with her elbow and said with a cackle of delight, I think you guys should make some more of those brownies, 'cause that boy looks hungry.
Darynda Jones
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Have they even seen the Winchester boys? Sammy and Dean's existence proves there is a god and she is a woman.
Darynda Jones
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Can I brush your hair?” she asked as she led the way, her disposition doing a 180 on a dime. Kids. Can’t live with ’em. Can’t eat ’em for lunch.
Darynda Jones
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He had threatened my parents. I had to remember that. Still, it was really hard to stay mad at a wounded naked man.
Darynda Jones
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When life hands you lemons say, Lemons? What else have you got? - bumper sticker
Darynda Jones
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I lowered the gun but didn’t holster it. Not just yet. She could turn out to be psychotic. Or a door-to-door salesperson.
Darynda Jones
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She didn't smile back. Not even a little. I totally needed to read that book on how to win friends and influence people. But that would involve an innate desire to win friends and influence people.
Darynda Jones
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Before I tell you, I have to know three things, I said. Okay. One, are you sitting down? Yes. Two, are you mentally stable? More than you'll ever be. Well, that was uncalled for. And three, how do you spell schizophrenia? What does that have to do with anything? Nothing. I just wanted to see if you'd tell me.
Darynda Jones
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I chose the road less traveled. Now I'm lost.
Darynda Jones
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SOME GIRLS WEAR PRADA. SOME GIRLS WEAR GLOCK 17 SHORT RECOIL SPRING-LOADED SEMIAUTOMATIC PISTOLS WITH A LOADED CHAMBER INDICATOR AND A NONSLIP GRIP. - T-SHIRT
Darynda Jones
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Reyes Farrow. Because perfection is a dirty job, but someone has to do it.
Darynda Jones
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It’s all fun and games until someone loses a testicle. —T-SHIRT
Darynda Jones
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I like to see the glass as half full, hopefully of jack daniels.
Darynda Jones
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Ask me about my complete lack of interest. (T-shirt)
Darynda Jones
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I'd never taken to four foot creatures who had the uncanny ability to point out all my flaws in thirty second flat. And just for the record, I can too read without moving my lips.
Darynda Jones
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If life hands you lemons,keep them. Because, hey, free lemons.-T-Shirt
Darynda Jones
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.. an emergency stash of Thin Mints. Frickin' Girl Scouts. Those things were way to addictive. They had to be laced with crack. Charlie Davidson Fourth Grave Beneath my Feet
Darynda Jones