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It’s all fun and games until someone loses a testicle. —T-SHIRT

Darynda Jones

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Darynda Jones
Age: 59
Author
Novelist
Writer
Friona
Texas
Shirts
Boners
Fun
Testicle
Loses
Sidekicks
Games
Slaying
Someone
Testicles
Metallica
Shirt
Pregnant

More quotes by Darynda Jones

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Do not disturb. Already there.
Darynda Jones
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I chose the road less traveled. Now I'm lost.
Darynda Jones
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I like to see the glass as half full, hopefully of jack daniels.
Darynda Jones
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Pretending to drink coffee was similar to faking an orgasm.
Darynda Jones
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You’re the reason I breathe
Darynda Jones
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Paperwork wouldn’t be so bad if it weren’t for all the paper. And the work.
Darynda Jones
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That you honestly believe I am capable of hurting innocent people for no reason.” “You’re not?” I asked, hope softening my voice. “Oh, no, I’m more than capable. I just didn’t realize you knew that.
Darynda Jones
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I may not have any skeletons in my closet, but I do have a little box of souls in my sock drawer. —T-SHIRT
Darynda Jones
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“Time-out,” I said... He twisted his hand around and wound his fingers into mine. “You‘re putting me in time-out?” “Yes,” I said as a shaky sigh slid through my lips. “If I don't go, do I get a spanking?”
Darynda Jones
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I could hardly be responsible for my actions when everyone around me gave me every opportunity to sink to their low expectations.
Darynda Jones
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Life is not about finding yourself. It's mostly about chocolate. T-Shirt
Darynda Jones
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You can’t have him, okay,” she said from behind the wire barrier. “Mm-hmm,” I whispered. “This is certainly a beautiful neighborhood.” “Yeah, I guess.” “I will scratch those eyes out of your ugly head.
Darynda Jones
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Before I tell you, I have to know three things, I said. Okay. One, are you sitting down? Yes. Two, are you mentally stable? More than you'll ever be. Well, that was uncalled for. And three, how do you spell schizophrenia? What does that have to do with anything? Nothing. I just wanted to see if you'd tell me.
Darynda Jones
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God I loved Sammy. I’d considered marrying him, but his wife got upset when I asked for his hand.
Darynda Jones
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Let me express how much I don't care on a scale of one to bite me, the former detective said.
Darynda Jones
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He had threatened my parents. I had to remember that. Still, it was really hard to stay mad at a wounded naked man.
Darynda Jones
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There comes a moment when you know you just aren't going to do anything esle productive for the rest of the day.-T-Shirt
Darynda Jones
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See you in a few. Hold down the fort, Mr. Wong!
Darynda Jones
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Then I asked her if she wanted to to the funeral, and my God, the look on her face. You'd think I'd asked her to drown the neighbor's cat. Admittedly, drowning the neighbor's cat didn't really clue me in as much as I would've liked. So, she was angry? He blinked back to me and stared. Like a long time.
Darynda Jones
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I’m Charlotte Davidson: private investigator, police consultant, all -around badass. Or I could’ve been a badass, had I stuck with those lessons in mixed martial arts. I was only in that class to learn how to kill people with paper.
Darynda Jones